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THE  LIBRARY 
OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 

OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 

IN  MEMORY  OF 

Helen  Clinton 


PRESENTED  BY 

Kathryn  and  Edna  Greiner 


R/rHUR  LAW 


RENCH.  24  West  22d  Street,  R 


THE  NEW  BOY 


H  farcical  iplas  in  TLbvcc  acts 


BY 

ARTHUR  LAW 

AUTHOR     OF     "  THE     JUDGE,"     "  A     MINT     OF     MONEY,' 

VENABLES,"   "CULPRITS,"    "THE    HAPPY    RETURN,"    "THE 

GOLDEN   KEY,"  "  AFTER  LONG  YEARS,"  "  IN  THREE 

VOLUMES,"     "  MR.     GUFFIN'S     ELOPEMENT," 

"chirruper's     FORTUNE,"     "THE 

LADIES*    IDOL,"    ETC.,    ETC. 


Copyright,  1904,  by  Samuel  French 


CAUTION  :— Professionals    and    Amateurs  are   hereby   notified 

that  this  play  is  fully  copyrighted  under  the  existing  laws  of 

the  United  States  Government,  and  nobody  is  allowed 

to  do  this   play  without  first  having  obtained 

permission  of  Samuel   French,  24  West 

i2d  St.,  New  York  City,  U.  S.  A. 


THE  NEW  BOY. 


Cbaracters. 

First  performed  at  Terry's  Theatre,  February  21st,  1894. 

/  Archibald  Rennick  (aged  30) . .  Mr.  Weedon  Grossmith. 
/  Doctor  Candy,  LL.D.  (Principal 
of  Birchgrove  School,  Dulwicli; 

aged  60) Mr.  J.  Beauchamp, 

/   Felix  Roach  (aged  40) Mr.  J.  D.  Beveridge. 

Theodore  de  Brizac  (a  French 

master  ;  aged  25) Mr.  Sydney  Warden. 

y  Bullock,  Major  (a  pupil ;  aged 

17) Mr.  Kenneth  Douglas. 

Mr.  Stubber  (aged  50) Mr.  T.  A.  Palmer. 

/■  Mrs.  Rennick  (aged  40).   ........  Miss  Gladys  Homfrey. 

/  Nancy    Roach    (Felix    Roach's 

Daughter  ;  aged  16) Miss  May  Palfrey. 

Susan  (a  servant ;  aged  20) Miss  Esme  Beringer. 


LAX  -yx. 


THE  NEW  BOY. 


ACT  I. 

Scene. — Draioing-room  in  Dr.  Candy's  hotise  at  Dulioich. 
Door  L.  c.  in  flat.  French  unndows  R.,  opening  on  gar- 
den. Fireplace  \^.  Sideboard  c,  at  back.  Bureau  H..C. 
at  back,  the  lid  open  and  the  desk  covered  with  school 
papers  and  documents.  Ottoman,  R.  c.  Coiich,  L.  c. 
Writing  table  doicn  L.  Small  icork  table  doivn  R.  Foot- 
stool, R.  of  ottoman. 

{Enter  Nancy  and  Roach  through  French  windows  R.  She 
has  somefloivers  in  her  hand.  He  is  smoking  a  cigarette. 
They  are  both  dressed  for  uxdking.) 

Nancy.     But  really,  father,  it's  so  absurd. 

Roach.     It's  not  absurd. 

Nancy.  It  seems  so  silly  to  cut  Dr.  Candy's  flowers  in 
Dr.  Candy's  garden  and  present  them  to  Dr.  Candy. 

Roach,  (irritably)  Do  you  suppose  he  will  recognize 
them  ? 

Nancy.     Well,  but 

Roach.  It's  not  tlie  flowers  ;  it's  the  attention — the 
little  attention.     He  likes  these  things,     (puffs  out  smoke) 

Nancy.     He  doesn't  like  smoking. 

Roach.  Eh?  I  forgot.  Stupid  of  me  !  (throws  cigar- 
ette out  of  7cindoH')  Do  you  think  he'll  smell  it — will  he 
smell  it  ?  (flicks  his  handkerchief  about  to  dispel  the 
smoke) 

Nancy,  (putting  flowers  in  vase  on  writing  table  L.) 
Probably. 

Roach.     Don't  say  that.     Whj^  didn't  you  stop  me? 

Nancy.     I  don't  know. 

Roach.  And  you  don't  care.  You  don't  appreciate  the 
importance  of  little  things,  (pointing  to  carpet)  What's 
that  ?  Gravel  on  the  carpet !  You  brouglit  that  in.  Why 
don't  you  wipe  your  shoes  ?  (goes  to  fireplace  for  fire- 
shovel  and  hearth-brush) 

Nancy,     (aside)     Oh,  bother  ! 

Roach.     You  know  how  particular  Candy  is. 

3 


813990 


4  THE  NEW  BOY. 

Nancy.     Then  he  shouldn't  be. 

Roach.     I  daresay  lie  shouldn't  be  ;  but  he  is. 

Nancy.     It's  nonsense.     I've  no  patience  with  it. 

Roach,  {sweeping  up  gravel)  You  have  no  proper  feel- 
ing. A  whiff  of  smoke,  a  few  grains  of  sand,  and  we  may 
be  out  of  his  will. 

Nancy.  How  do  you  Utiow  we  are  in  it  ?  {goes  to  side- 
hoard  at  back  and  puts  flowers  in  vase) 

Roach.  Hah  !  Your  poor  mother  all  over !  Always 
looking  at  the  dark  side  of  things,  {standing  uprigld) 
Can  I  ever  sufficiently  impress  upon  you  the  fact  tliat  Dr. 
Candy  is  happily  alone  in  the  world — that  we  are  his  sole 
relations  ? 

Nancy.     We  are  very  distant  ones. 

Roach.  We  icere.  Tliat  is  wliy  I  took  the  house  next 
door,  {jioiiits  to  windou-s  with  shovel  and  spills  gravel  on 
ottoman)  Oh,  confound  it!  (Nancy  lauglis)  It's  noth- 
ing to  laugh  at.  {brushes  gravel  off  ottoman  into  shovel) 
Yes  ;  fortunately  for  us.  Candy  has  no  other  relatives. 

Nancy.  None  at  all  ?  I  thought  I've  heard  you  speak 
of 

Roach.  Oh !  ah  !  you  mean  Mrs.  Bolder — Martha 
Bolder.  She's  out  of  tlie  running,  {goes  to  the  window 
and  throivs  out  gravel) 

Nancy.    Why  ? 

Roach.  He,  providentially,  quarreled  with  her  many 
years  ago. 

Nancy.    Oh  ! 

Roach.  She  made  an  imprudent  marriage  to  which  he 
strongly  objected,  and  he  has  never  spoken  to  her  since. 
I  believe — if  the  ti'utli  were  known — he  wanted  to  marry 
her  himself.  In  fact,  I'm  inclined  to  think  she  jilted  him 
for  Bolder. 

Nancy.  Where  do  tliey  live?  {goes  back  to  writing 
table  L.  and  puts  rest  of  flowers  in  vase) 

Roach.  Somewhere  near  Manchester.  She  is  a  widow 
now,  \vith  one  child — a  bo}'. 

Nancy.     What  relation  is  she  to  Dr.  Candy  ? 

Roach.     She  is  the — daughter  of  a  first  cousin, 

Nancy.     Then  she  is  his  first  cousin,  once  removed  ? 

Roach.  Yes  ;  once  removed,  always  removed.  We 
shall  hear  notliing  more  of  Martlia,  thank  goodness!  {he 
is  still  holding  the  brush  and  shovel) 

{Enter  Dr.  Candy,  door  l.  c.     He  has  an  open  letter  in  his 

hand.) 

Candy.     Ah,  Nancy,  my  cliild. 

Nancy.  Well,  Dr.  Candy,  {turning  her  head.  At 
writing  table) 


THE  NEW  BOY.  6 

Roach.     How  do  you  do,  my  dear  Horace  ? 

Candy,  (tapping  letter.  Comes  doum  c.)  I  have  just 
had  a  letter  from — (staring  at  Roach) — What  in  the  world 
are  you  doing  with  those  ? 

Roach.  (looking  at  briisli.  and  shovel)  Tliese  ?  Oh  ! 
This  caieless  girl  of  mine  brought  in  some  gravel  on  her 
shoes,  and  I — in  short,  I've  been  sweeping  it  up.  (goes  to 
fireplace) 

Caxdy.     Why  trouble  yourself  ? 

Roach.     A  pleasure,  dear  Horace,  a  pleasure. 

Candy.  I've  just  liad  a  letter  from  Martha  Bolder. 
(Roach  drops  the  shovel  on  the  hearth  uith  a  clatter) 
Great  heavens,  Felix  ! 

Roach.     I  beg  your  pardon. 

Candy,  (aside)  Clumsy  idiot  !  (aloud)  She  is  a  cousin 
of  j'ours,  Nancy,     (sits  on  ottoman  R.  C.) 

Nancy.  I  know,  {sits  on  chair  by  icriting  table,  fasten- 
ing two  flowers  together) 

Ca^dy.     Ah.     Some  years  ago  we  had  a  little  difference. 

Roach.     She  behaved  shamefully,     (comes  C.) 

Candy.     What  do  you  know  about  it  ? 

Roach.  Well — she  treated  you  with  ingratitude,  dear 
Horace. 

Candy.     We  were  both  in  the  wrong. 

Roach.     I  will  not  hear  you  say  a  word  against  yourself. 

Candy.  Humph.  She  has  been  a  widow  for  over  a  year, 
and — I  want  bj-gones  to  be  bygones. 

Roach.     Be  careful,  Horace  ;  pray  be  careful. 

Candy.  I  wrote  to  her  a  few  days  ago,  asking  her  to 
come  and  pay  me  a  visit,  and  to  bring  her  boy. 

Nancy.     Are  they  coming  ? 

Candy.    Yes. 

Roach,     (aside)     Oh  ! 

Candy.     She  has  written  to  say  they  will  be  here  to-day. 

Roach.     To-day  ?  !  ! 

Candy.     Have  you  any  objection  ? 

Roach.     My  dear  Horace  !     If  you  are  pleased  ;  why 

Candy.     I  am  pleased.     I  dislike  family  quarrels. 

Roach,     (approvingly)     Ah ! 

Candy.  Antl  I  want  to  make  friends  with  Martha.  She 
is  mj-  nearest  relation,  and  I  am  getting  an  old  man. 

Roach,  (blandly)  Younger  every  day — younger  every 
day.     Nancy,  dear. 

Nancy.     Yes,  father. 

Roach.  I  thought  you  had  a  flower  for  Dr.  Candy's 
buttonhole? 

Nancy.  If  he  would  care  for  it  ?  (rises  and  goes  to 
Candy) 

Candy.  Eh  ?  Oh.  Is  that  for  me  ?  Very  good  of  you, 
my  dear.     (Nancy  _pw^s  flower  in  Candy's  button-hole) 


Q  THE  NEW  BOY. 

Roach.  My  little  girl  never  forgets  you,  dear  Horace. 
She's  her  father's  daughter,     {sits  on  coxich  L.) 

Candy,  (paf^ingr  Nancy's /lead)  Humph.  She  reminds 
nie  of  her  mother. 

{Enter  Theodore  de  Brizac,  d.  l.  c.) 

De  B.  I  beg  your  pardon,  Dr.  Candy  ;  but  this  being  a 
half-holiday,  1  thouglit  the  boys  might  as  well  begin  foot- 
ball this  afternoon,     {stands  up  stage  at  back) 

Candy.     Certainly,  Monsieur  de  Brizac,  certainly. 

Nancy,  {going  up  to  de  Brizac)  How  de  do,  Mon- 
sieur de  Brizac  ? 

De  B.  How  do  you  do,  Mademoiselle?  (de  Brizac 
and  Nancy  glance  and  smile  at  each  other  meaningly) 

Nancy,  {aside)  He's  had  his  hair  cut.  How  well  it 
suits  him  ! 

De  B.     {aside)     Ah  !  but  she  is  divine  ! 

Nancy,  {aside,  to  de  Brizac)  I'm  going  into  the  gar- 
den,    {goes  R. ) 

Roach.     Does  Martha  stay  with  you  some  days,  Horace? 

Candy.     Some  weeks,  I  hope. 

Roach,  {blandly)  Indeed,  {aside,  incensed)  Tchah ! 
(Nancy  looks  at  de  Brizac  and  exits  R.) 

De  B.  {going  R. )  I  think  I  will  go  and  have  a  look  at 
the  playing  field  and  see  what  state  the  floor — the  turf 
is  in  for  football  after  all  this  rain. 

Candy.  Do,  de  Brizac,  do.  {rises  and  goes  up  stage. 
Exit  DE  Brizac  r.  ) 

Roach,  {rising  and  going  c.)  Anything  I  can  do.  dear 
Horace,  in  the  way  of  meeting  Martlia  at  the  station,  getting 
her  a  bun,  or  a  fly,  or — ?  Make  use  of  me,  you  know  ; 
make  use  of  me. 

Candy.  I  don't  know  wliat  train  she'll  come  by,  or  I'd 
meet  her  myself.     Perhaps  I  shouldn't  know  her. 

Roach.  That  is  most  probable.  She  must  be  a  plain, 
elderly  woman  now. 

Candy.     She  was  never  plain,     {at  door  L.  c.) 

Roach,  {going  towards  Candy)  But  after  fifteen  years  ! 
Time  doesn't  stand  still— except  with  you. 

Candy.  Humph,  {musingly)  Poor  Martha !  I  kissed 
her  once,     {exit  D.  L.  c.) 

Roach,  {greatly  vexed)  He's  thinking  of  old  times ! 
Sentimental  rubbisli  I  It's  a  bad  sign — a  bad  sign  !  {thrusts 
his  hands  in  liis  pockets  and  goes  r.  slowly)  What's  the 
use  of  self-denial  ;  what's  the  good  of  self-sacrifice  ?  For 
years  I've  humoi'ed  his  infernel  fancies,  eaten  his  tough 
mutton,  praised  his  cheap  slierry,  agreed  with  him  in 
everything,  listened  to  his  old  stories,  laughed  at  his  stale 
jokes,  and  all  for  this— this  !  {stumbles  against  footstool 
near  windows ;  kicks  it  away  savagely  and  exits  r.) 


THE  NEW  BOY.  7 

{Enter  Susan  d.  l.  c.  ) 

Susan.    This  way,  Ma'am,  please,     {stands  L.  of  door) 

{Enter  Mrs.  Rennick  d.  l.  c.) 

Mrs.  R.     Doctor  Candy  is  expecting  us. 

Susan.     Yes.  I  know,  Ma'am. 

Mrs.  R.  {aside)  Now,  where  is  that  husband  of  mine  ? 
{calling  and  looking  off  D.  L.  c.)  Archibald!  Archibald, 
dear  ! 

Rennick.  {outside)  One  moment.  I've  dropped  a  bis- 
cuit. 

Mrs.  R.  Never  mind  that.  Do  make  haste.  {comes 
down  R.  c. ) 

Rennick.     It's  all  right ;  I've  found  it. 

{Enter  Rennick  d.  l.  c.     He  has  a  half-eaten  biscuit  in 
one  hand,  and  a X)aper  hag  in  the  other.) 

Mrs.  R.     I  couldn't  think  what  was  keeping  you. 

Rennick.  {holding  out  biscuit)  It  rolled  under  the  hat- 
stand,  {looking  at  biscuit)  Oh,  it's  covei-ed  with  fluff ! 
{to  Susan)  Here.  Take  it  away,  please,  {gives  biscuit  to 
Susan.     Comes  down  c. ) 

Susan.  Yes,  sir.  I'll  tell  my  master  you  are  here, 
Ma'am,  {exit  D.  L.  c.  Mrs.  Rennick  is  very  nervous  and 
fidgetty) 

Mrs.  R.  Don't  eat  any  more  now,  Archibald,  {fakes 
paper  bag  from  him) 

Rennick.  My  love,  I'm  starving  !  You  forget  I've  had 
nothing  since  an  eight  o'clock  breakfast. 

Mrs.  R.     You  made  a  very  good  one. 

Rennick.  Good  one  !  Only  a  cliop  and  a  couple  of  eggs. 
{goes  up  stage  looking  about  room) 

Mrs.  R.  I  could  eat  nothing.  I  was  too  nervous.  Archi- 
bald, dear,  I  wish  now  we  had  told  Doctor  Candy  of  oul 
marriage  beforehand,     {goes  to  L. ) 

Rennick.  I  don't  agree  with  you.  He  might  have  re- 
fused to  see  us  ;  whereas,  now  he  can't  help  himself. 

Mrs.  R.  But  he  objected  so  strongly  to  my  first  mar- 
riage ;  and  when  he  hears  I  have  married  a  second  time  I 
don't  know  what  he  will  say  ! 

Rennick.  {coming  down  R.)  Is  he  averse  to  marriage 
on  principle  ? 

Mrs.  R.     Absolutely. 

Rennick.     And  yet  he  is  a  schoolmaster  ! 

Mrs.  R.     What  has  that  to  do  with  it  ? 

Rennick.  If  there  were  no  marriages  he  couldn't  keep 
a  school — at  least,  not  a  respectable  one. 

Mrs.  R.  At  any  rate,  I  am  glad  we  left  Freddy  with  the 


8  THE  NEW  BOY. 

luggage  at  the  station  till  we  see  how  Doctor  Candy  re- 
ceives us.     I  hope  Freddy  won't  get  into  mischief. 

Rennick.     He  can't.     He  has  only  got  tuppence. 

Mrs.  R.     He  is  such  a  boy  for  automatic  sweets, 

Rennick.  Then  he  is  sure  to  like  Candy.  (laughs) 
That's  very  good.  Tliat's  one  of  my  own.  (puts  doivn  his 
hat  on  chair  above  ivindoio) 

Mrs.  R.  Don't  jest,  dear,  don't  jest.  Doctor  Candy  is 
our  only  hope.     We  have  come  to  our  last  shilling. 

Rennick.     Perhaps  he  will  cut  us  off  with  another. 

Mrs.  R.     Archibald,  we  are  beggars  !     (sits  on  conch  L.) 

Rennick.  W^e're  worse.  We  can't  earn  our  own  living, 
and  beggars  can. 

Mrs.  R.  It's  not  for  want  of  trying.  You  did  very 
nearly  get  that  secretaryship. 

Rennick.  Yes  ;  there  wereonlj^  thirteen  hundred  appli- 
cants that  time,     (sits  on  ottoman  r.  c.) 

Mrs.  R.     They  required  so  many  languages. 

Rennick.  Ah.  If  I  had  only  known  Swedish,  Turkish, 
Russian  and  Japanese,  I  believe  I  should  have  got  it. 

Mrs.  R.  It  was  most  unfortunate  your  being  unable  to 
retain  that  appointment  in  Manchester. 

Rennick.  Humph,  Directing  envelopes  at  a  shilling  a 
thousand, 

Mrs.  R.  And  the  wretches  discharging  you  because  they 
said  you  weren't  quick  enough. 

Rennick.  Yes  ;  it  took  me  a  week  doing  a  thousand.  It 
didn't  pay  for  mj-  'bus  fare.  Martha,  we  ouglit  never  to 
have  expended  our  last  twenty  pounds  on  that  typewriting 
machine  for  you. 

Mrs.  R,  No,  I  could  never  have  learnt  it.  I  was  alwa\'s 
a  bad  pianist. 

Rennick,  That  tax  collectorship  would  have  suited  me, 
but  they  said  I  was  too  j^oung  for  a  position  of  trust, 

Mrs.  R,  Too  young  ?  Didn't  you  tell  them  your  age  ? 
Didn't  you  say  you  were  thirty? 

Rennick,    Of  course  I  did,  but  they  would  not  believe  me, 

Mrs,  R.     Archibald,  you  must  grow  a  beard  ! 

Rennick,   My  love,  it  is  no  use  attempting  im])ossibilities. 

Mrs.  R.  Oil  I  Archibald,  Archibald,  why  did  you  invest 
our  little  all  in  that  liorrid  Dry  Champagne  Company  ? 

Rennick.  The  company  was  all  rigiit ;  it  was  the  di- 
rectors. 

Mrs.  R,     And  the  chairman  was  an  Earl, 

Rennick.  And  such  a  thirsty  one.  In  fact,  all  tlu! 
directors  were  as  dry  as  the  cliampagne. 

Mrs.  R.     So  much  for  a  limited  company. 

Rennick.  Everytliing  was  limited  with  the  exception  o< 
refreshments.  Well,  it's  no  use  crying  over  spilt  cham- 
pagne.     The  money  is  gone. 


THE  NEW  BOY.  9 

Mrs.  R.  But  Doctor  Candy  is  left  to  us.  He  is  our  last 
chance,  (rises  and  goes  to  Rennick)  Archibald,  dear,  I 
know  your  noble  nature. 

Rennick.    So  do  I. 

Mrs.  R.     You  have  a  colossal  intellect. 

Rennick.    I  have. 

ilRS.  R.     Of  which  you  are  justly  proud. 

Rennick.    I  am. 

Mrs.  R.  I  want  j'ou  to  humble  yourself  for  my  sake. 
Be  conciliatory  with  Horace.  Do  not  crush  liim  with  your 
superior  attainments.  Let  him  imagine  he  is  your  equal 
in  every  way.     Will  you  do  this  ? 

Rennick.  (rising)  Martha,  I  will.  I  will  not  look 
down  on  Candy.  I  will  stoop  to  him.  I  will  even  make  my- 
self small  for  your  sake. 

Mrs.  R.  (throwing  her  arms  around  him)  My  hus- 
band !     My  king  ! 

Rennick.  Martha,  you're  trembling  ;  you're  quite 
nervous. 

Mrs.  R.  I  feel  so  upset  at  the  prospect  of  meeting 
Dr.  Candy.     What  u'ill  lie  say  wlien  he  sees  you? 

Rennick.     I  suppose  he'll  say,  liow-de-do  ? 

:Mrs.  R.     I  do  so  wish  we  had  prepared  liim. 

Rennick.     You  think  it  would  have  let  him  down  easier  ? 

Mrs.  R.     I  am  sure  of  it. 

Rennick.  (going  r.)  Very  well,  then  ;  you  see  him 
alone  first — see  him  alone,  and  break  me  to  him  gently. 

Mrs.  R.  (admiringly)  Oh,  what  a  head  you  have,  dear  ! 
(lie  takes  up  his  hat  from  chair) 

Rennick.     Yes,  haven't  I  ? 

Dr.  Candy,  (outside)  And,  Susan, — I  am  not  at  home  to 
anyone  this  afternoon. 

Mrs.  R.     Here  he  is !     (piishes  him  towards  ivindoivs) 

Renniok.     I'll  go  into  the  garden. 

Mrs.  R.     Yes,  yes.     (pushing  him) 

Rennick.     Break  me  to  him  gently. 

Mrs.  R.     (pushing  him)     Yes,  yes — go  !  go  ! 

Rennick.  One  moment.  Give  me  the  biscuits,  (snatches 
paper  bag  from  her  and  exits  quickly  by  xcindous  r.) 

Mrs.  R.  Oh  dear!  (pidting  her  hand  on  her  heart)  Oh — 
how  my  heart  is  beating  ! 

{Enter  Dr.  Candy  d.  l.  c.) 

Candy.  Ah,  my  dear  Martha  ;  so  glad  to  see  you.  (holds 
Old  both  his  hayids)     Really  this  is  most  kind  of  you. 

Mrs.  R.     (taking  his  hands)     My  dear  Doctor  Candy, 

Candy.  Horace — the  old  Horace  ;  at  least — no,  not  the 
old  Horace — a  new  and  emended  edition. 

Mrs.  R.     You  are  very  good — Horace. 

Candy.    That  tells  me  I  am  forgiren. 


■10  THE  NEW  BOY. 

Mrs.  R.     I  have  nothing  to  forgive. 

Candy.  Yes,  yes.  Sit  down,  Martha,  sit  down,  (they 
sit  side  by  side  on  ottoman  R.  c. )  I  have  felt  this— long 
estrangement  more  than  you  will  believe. 

Mrs.  R.     I  have  felt  it  too. 

Candy.  But  I  was  too  proud — perhaps  we  were  both  too 
proud  to  be  the  first  to  say  let  us  make  it  up  and  be  friends. 

Mrs.  R.     Perhaps. 

Candy.  Well,  better  late  than  never  ;  and  indeed,  when 
I  look  at  you,  the— how  long  is  it?— fifteen  years  seem  like 
yesterday.     Time  has  dealt  lightly  with  you,  Martha. 

Mrs.  R.     And  with  you,  Horace. 

Candy,  (pleased)  Well,  so  they  tell  me.  And  how  is 
your  boy  ? 

Mrs.  R.     Very  well,  tliank  you. 

Candy.     Didn't  you  bring  him  with  you  ? 

Mrs.  R.  I  left  him  at  the  station  in  charge  of  the  lug- 
gage. 

Candy.  You  should  have  brought  him  up.  luggage  and 
all.  I'll  send  my  man  down  presently  to  fetch  them.  I 
expect  you  to  pay  me  a  nice  long  visit.  I  am  not  going  to 
let  you  run  away  again  in  a  hurry. 

Mrs.  R.     You  are  most  kind.     Horace 

Candy.    Yes? 


Mrs.  R.     When  I — when  I  was  left  a  widow 

Candy.     A  year  ago,  I  believe  ? 

Mrs.  R.     Eighteen  months. 

Candy.    So  long  ? 

Mrs.  R.     I  naturally  felt  very  lonely. 

Candy.    Yes,  yes. 

Mrs.  R.  Poor  Richard's  pension  died  with  him,  and  I 
was  left  in  very  straitened  circumstances. 

Candy,     (aside)  I  wish  I  had  known. 

Mrs.  R.  I  was  troubled  with  anxiety  as  to  my  boy's 
future. 

Candy.     Ah. 

Mrs.  R.  a  Mr.  Rennick — a  dear,  good,  noble  man — was 
exceedingly  kind  to  me. 

Candy.     Was  he  ? 

Mrs.  R.  He  sympathized  deeply  with  me  in  my  un- 
fortunate position,  and 

Candy.     Wanted  to  marry  you  ? 

Mrs.  R.     He  did. 

Candy.  Well,  many  women  in  the  like  case  would  have 
accepted  him. 

Mrs.  R.     (hopefully)     You — you  feel  that? 

Candy.  I  do,  but — I  am  very  glad  you  refused  him. 
You  decided  most  wisely.  I  hope  I  am  not  speaking  sel- 
fishly when  I  say,  that  had  you  acted  otherwise  it  would 
have  been  a  very  great  blow  to  me. 


THE  NEW  BOY.  H 

Mrs.  R.  {glancing  nervously  at  loindoics,  aside)  Oh, 
Archibald  ! 

Candy.  Martha.  I  will  be  frank  with  you.  We  parted 
in  bitterness  years  ago,  and  I  liave  regretted  it  ever  since. 
It  was  only  tiie  other  day — as  you  know — that  I  heard  you 
were  a  widow,  and  I  at  once  determined  to  act  as  I  thought 
rightly  towards  you.  I  altered  my  will,  and  to  you — my 
nearest  relative — I  have  left  nearly  everything. 

Mrs.  R.     My  dear  Horace  ! 

Candy.  At  the  same  time,  I  think  it  only  right  to  tell 
you  that  should  you  change  your  state — in  short,  marry 
again — I  should  make  anotlier  disposition  of  my  property. 

Mrs.  R.  {desperately)  But,  Horace,  I  must  tell  you 
that 

Candy,  {rising)  There,  there ;  don't  thank  me.  I 
have  onh'  done  what  was  right,  so  let  us  say  no  more  about 
it.  I'll  go  and  send  my  man  to  the  station  for  your  boy. 
{takes  out  his  icatch). 

Rennick.     {outside)     Oh  !  Tliey've  iiit  me  ! 

Mrs.  R.  (rising — aside)  Archibald  ! 

Rennick.     {outside)  Stop  it,  I  say.  stop  it  ! 

Candy,     {as  Mrs.  R.  goes  to  windows)     It's  only  the  boys. 

(Rennick  appears  in  ivindows.) 

Rennick.     Martha.  Martha 

Mrs.  R.     {aside  to  Rennick)  Go  back,  go  back  ! 

Rennick.  (entering)  I  can't — I  won't.  Those  young 
beasts  have  been  chucking  stones  at  me,  and  one  of  them 
hit  me  on  the  calf  !  {putsup  his  foot  on  chair  down  R.  and 
examines  his  leg) 

Candy,  {turning)  Hullo,  hullo  :  who  is  this  ?  Eh,  what  ? 
{to  Mrs.  R).    Is  this  your  son  ?  {comes  down) 

IMrs.  R.  {aside)  My  son  !  {touches  Rennick  to  draiv  his 
attention  to  Candy)    My  dear  ! 

Rennick.  {to  Candy")  1  beg  your  pardon.  I  didn't  see 
you. 

Candy.     Come  here,  my  little  man,  come  liere. 

Rennick.  {advancing  and  holding  out  his  hand)  How 
do  you  do,  Doctor  Candy  ?     Pleased  to  meet  you. 

Candy".  Ha,  ha,  ha  !  {patting  Rennick  on  the  head) 
Thank  jou,  m}'  little  fellow,  thank  you. 

Rennick.     I've  often  heard  of  you. 

Candy".     From  your  mother. 

Rennick.     {puzzled)     I\Iy  mother  ? 

Mrs.  R.     {signing  to  him)     Yes,  dear — yes. 

Rennick.  {to  Candy)  My  mother  was  a  friend  of 
yours  ? 

Candy",  {patting  his  head)  Ha,  ha  !  Before  you  were 
born,  my  little  fellow,  years  before  you  were  born. 


12  THE  NEW  BOY. 

Rennick.  Really  !  (aside)  He  seems  a  friendly  old 
man  but  I  wish  he  wouldn't  pat  my  head. 

Candy,  (putthig  Jiis  hand  under  Rennick's  chin) 
Humph,  I  don't  see  any  likeness  here  ! 

Rennick.     Don't  you? 

Candy.     Not  a  trace  of  your  mother. 

Rennick.     Isn't  there  ? 

Mrs.  R.     No,  he — he  takes  after  his  father 

Rennick.  Do  I?  (to  Candy)  I  hardly  remember  him. 
You  see,  after  so  many  years 

Mrs.  R.     Months,  dear,  months. 

Rennick.     Months  !     Why,  I  was  only  thirteen. 

Candy.     Then  now  you  are  a  little  over  fourteen. 

Rennick.  (laughing)  Yes — a  little  over,  (aside)  He's 
a  funny  old  man. 

Mrs.  R.  (aside  to  Rennick)  For  heaven's  sake  don't 
undeceive  him  ! 

Rennick.     (aside)     What  does  she  mean  ? 

Candy,  (aside)  An  old-fashioned  boy  this.  Evidently 
a  mother's  cliild. 

Rennick.  Well,  it's  exceedingly  kind  of  you,  Doctor 
Candy,  to  ask  us  to  pay  you  a  visit  ;  and  it  gives  me  great 
pleasure  to  make  your  acquaintance. 

Candy.  Ha,  ha !  My  dear  little  chap.  (jjats  Ren- 
nick's head  and  goes  to  MRS.  R. ) 

Rennick.  (aside)  This  man  will  give  me  a  headache. 
(puts  Jiis  liat  on  writing  table  L.) 

Candy.  He's  a  fine  little  fellow,  Martha,  and  I  like 
him  ;  but — you  will  excuse  me — I  think  he  has  been  too 
closely  tied  to  your  apron-strings,  (signs  to  Mrs.  Ren- 
nick to  sit  on  ottoman  R.  c,  which  she  does) 

Rennick.     I  always  said  so. 

Candy.  Ha,  ha !  He  would  be  the  better  for  a  little 
more  freedom. 

Rennick.  Quite  so.  You'%^e  no  idea  what  an  exagger- 
ated objection  she  has  to  clubs,  late  hours,  and  bachelor 
parties. 

Candy,  (laughing  loudly)  He's  delightful — delightful  I 
(sits  on  chair  l.  of  Mrs.  Rennick) 

Rennick.     (aside)     He  laughs  at  everything  I  say. 

Candy.  Now,  my  dear  Martlia,  I  am  going  to  make  you 
a  proposal,     (smiling)     No — I  don't  mean  marriage. 

Rennick.  (laughing)  Oh,  don't  mind  me,  Candy. 
(about  to  sit  on  chair  by  meriting  table  L.) 

Candy,     (sternly)  Sssh — sssli.     You  talk  too  much. 

Rennick.     (snijyrised)  Well,  upon  my  word  ! 

Mrs.  R.     (u-arningly)     My  dear  1 

Rennick.  (aside)  I  forgot.  I  promised  I  would  stoop 
to  him.     (sits  on  chair  L. ) 

Candy.     Well  now,  Martha — 1117  school  matron,  who 


i~^.^.^a.rtJf*-.<- 


THE  NEW  BOY.  13 

has  been  with  me  for  some  years,  left  me  last  week  to  get 
married.  Silly  woman  ;  she  was  old  enough  to  know 
better  ;  she  was  quite  3'our  age. 

Mrs.  R.     (nervouslij)     Indeed  ! 

Candy.  And  she's  married  a  man  about  ten  years  her 
junior.  We  know  what  the  end  of  that  is,  as  a  rule.  It 
almost  invariably — {looks  at  Rennick.  coughs,  turns  his 
chair  loith  its  back  to  Rennick,  and  whispers  into  Mrs. 
Rennick's  ear) 

Rennick.  (aside)  I  don't  tliink  much  of  Candy's 
manners. 

Candy.  However,  she  is  gone,  and  I  was  wondering 
this  morning  whether  you  would  care  to  accept  the  vacant 
post? 

Mrs.  R.     Well,  I — I  tliink  I'm  a  pretty  good  manager. 

Rennick.  (jocularly)  She  manages  me  most  success- 
fully. 

Candy,  (annoyed  at  the  interruption)  Sssh  !  sssh  ! 
Humpli.  All.  All  I  want  is  a  good,  kind,  motherly  per- 
son like  yoiu'self  to  exercise  a  genei'al  supervision,  see  to 
the  boys'  clothes,  and  look  after  their  wasliing. 

Rennick.  (rising)  Oh,  I  don't  think  she  could  wash 
the  boys. 

Mrs.  R.     IMy  dear.  Doctor  Candy  doesn't  mean 

Candy.  As  to  your  boy,  he  can  join  the  school,  and 
that  will  save  tlie  expense  of  his  education. 

Rennick.  Ah,  that  would  be  a  great  advantage  to 
us. 

Candy.  (ZooH»gf  ai  Rennick)  Is  he  fairly  advanced  in 
his  studies? 

Rennick.     Yes,  fairly  so. 

Candy.     How  is  your  Latin  ? 

Rennick.     (pinzzled)     il/y  Latin? 

Candy.     Have  j-ou  read  Virgil  ? 

Rennick.     Not  lately. 

Candy.     Y\>u  know  Cajsar? 

Rennick.     Well  I  used  to. 

Candy,     (sternly)    What?     (rises) 

Rennick.     Of  course  I'm  a  little  rusty. 

Candy.     How  many  books  of  Euclid  have  you  ? 

Rennick.     I  haven't  any  at  all. 

Candy.  Chut,  chut,  cliut  !  What  was  the  date  of  the 
signing  of  Magna  Charta? 

Rennick.     I'm  hanged  if  I  know. 

Candy.     What,  sir  ? 

Mrs.  R.  (terribly  nervous)  I'm  afraid  he — he — he  has 
forgotten  a  great  deal. 

Candy.     He  is  lamentably  ignorant. 

Rennick.  We  can't  all  be  schoolmasters.  You  see, 
you've  kept  it  up. 


14  THE  NEW  BOY. 

Candy.    Sssh  !    That'll  do,  that'll  do,  my  boy. 

Rennick.  {aside)  He's  a  domineering  old  man!  1 
shall  not  stoop  much  longer  ! 

Candy.  Ah,  well,  well — come  now — if  a  herring  and  a 
half  cost  three  lialf-pence. 

Rennick.  (banteringly)  Oh,  go  on  !  If  Dick's  father 
was  Tom's  son,  what  relation  was  Dick  to  Tom  ? 

Candy,  {hmghing  in  spite  of  himself)  Ha,  ha,  ha  ! 
He's  a  character !  {clapping  Rennick  on  the  back)  The 
little  chap  is  quite  a  character  !     Ha,  ha,  ha  ! 

Rennick.  {Unighing)  Go  along  with  you !  {clapping 
Candy  on  the  back)  Oh,  you  old  humbug  !  Ha,  ah,  ah  ! 
(aside)  I  slapped  him  that  time. 

Candy,  {draiving  himself  itp  u-itli  great  dignify — aside) 
I  sliall  have  to  take  this  boy  in  hand  at  once,  [sehoolbell 
rings)  Ah,  the  school  bell,  {to  Mrs.  Rennick)  You'll 
excuse  me  for  a  few  minutes,  won't  j'ou  ? 

Mrs.  R.     Certainly. 

Candy,  {going  uj^  to  door  r,.  c.)  Then,  we  may  consider 
it  settled.  You  will  accept  the  post,  Martha,  and  our 
young  friend  shall  join  the  school  to-morrow.  I  shan't  be 
long. 

Rennick.     Don't  hurry  yourself. 

Candy.     Hah  !    {exit,  d.  l.  o.) 

Rennick.     What  a  rum  old  man  ! 

Mrs.  R.  {vising)  Oh,  Archibald,  Archibald— don't  you 
see? 

Rennick.     See  !   what  ? 

Mrs.  R.     He  thinks  you  are  Freddy. 

Rennick.  {staggers  back  against  couch)  Thinks  I'm 
Freddy  ? 

Mrs.  R.     Yes. 

Rennick.     Does  he  think  you  are  my  mother  ? 

Mrs.  R.     Of  course  he  does  ! 

Rennick.     Well,  I'm  blowed  ! 

Mrs.  R.  He  mustn't  know  the  truth.  If  he  does  we  are 
ruined. 

Rennick.     Ruined  ? 

Mrs.  R.  Absolutely.  Archibald,  dear,  he  has  left  me 
everything — everything. 

Rennick.     Oh,l  say ! 

Mrs.  R.     Because  he  believes  I  am  a  widow. 

Rennick.     A  widow ! 

Mrs.  R.  He  said,  if  I  married  again  he  would  alter  his 
will ! 

Rennick.     AVhat's  to  be  done  ? 

Mrs.  R.  We  must  keep  up  the  deception  for  the  pres- 
ent. 

Rennick.     And  stay  here? 

Mrs.  R.     Certainly.     What  excuse  could  we  make  for 


THE  NEW  BOY.  15 

leaving  suddenly  ?  We  must  remain  for  a  time.  After 
a  month  or  two  we  may  manage  to  get  away. 

Rennick.  It's  all  very  well  for  yon  but,  i've  got  to  go 
to  school  again,     (goes  L.,  and  takes  up  his  hat) 

Mrs.  R.  My  dearest,  there  is  no  help  for  it.  We  must 
grin  and  bear  it. 

Rennick.     Yes,  you  may  grin,  but  I've  got  to  bear  it. 

Mrs.  R.     Darling,  you  promised  me  you  would 

Rennick.  Oh,  I  know,  I  said  I  would  stoop,  but  this  is 
going  down  on  all  fours,     (goes  R.,  she  following  him) 

Mrs.  R.  Wliat  is  a  little  present  discomfort  with  a  for- 
tune in  the  future  ?  Archibald,  Archibald— you  will  not 
fail  me  ? 

Rennick.  (fnrning)  No,  Martha,  I  will  not.  I  have 
fought  the  world  before  :  I  will  stand  up  to  it  again.  I 
will  brace  myself  to  the  attack  and  my  indomitable  cour- 
age will  pull  me  through  ! 

Mrs.  R.  (throunng  her  arms  round  him)  My  lion- 
hearted  liusband  ! 

Rennick.  But— it  has  just  occurred  to  me  ;  if  I  am  to  be 
Freddy,  what  is  to  be  done  with  the  boy? 

Mrs.  R.     We  must  send  him  up  to  London  at  once. 

Rennick.     To  the  workhouse  ? 

Mrs.  R.  To  your  sister  Emily.  She  will  take  charge  of 
him  and  say  nothing. 

Rennick.  Slie  may  say  nothing,  but  she'll  want  some- 
thing. 

Mrs.  R.  We'll  anange  all  that.  You  must  go  to  the 
station  and  send  him  otf  without  delay.  Leave  your  port- 
manteau in  the  cloak  room,  and  bring  back  Freddy's  trunk 
with  you. 

Rennick.     Why  Freddy's  trunk  ? 

Mrs.  R.     You  will  want  his  things. 

Rennick.     Want  his  things  ? 

Mrs.  R.  You  can't  bring  your  own  here.  They  would 
see  at  once  your  wardrobe  couldn't  belong  to  a  boy. 

Rennick.     And  my  linen  is  all  marked  with  my  name  ! 

Mrs.  R.  Exactly.  You  can  w^ear  Freddy's.  You  are 
both  of  a  size. 

Rennick.  He's  longer  in  the  legs,  but  I'm  fuller  in  the 
waist.     Well,  I'll  be  off.     {turning  up  stage) 

Mrs.  R.  Not  that  way.  You  may  meet  Horace.  Go 
by  the  garden. 

Rennick.     (going  k.)     Good.    I'll  slip  out  that  way. 

Mrs.  R.    Yes,  yes  ;  be  quick  !     (turning  up  L.  c.) 

Rennick.     One  moment. 

Mrs.  R.     No.     Do  go,  dear  ! 

Rennick.  Yes,  all  right,  (stopping  and  looking  off  ^.) 
Hullo !    Who  is  this  ?    There's  someone  coming !     (goes 

up  R.) 


16  THE  NEW  BOY. 

(Enter  Felix  Roach  and  Nancy  through  windows  r.) 

Roach.  We  shall  be  cut  out,  I  tell  you,  completely  cut 
out  by  this  woman  and  her— (aside  to  Nancy)  They  have 
come  !  (aloud,  affecting  pleased  surprise)  Why — is  it 
really?  (going  to  Mrs.  Rennick  with  outstretched  hand) 
My  dear  Mrs.  Bolder,  I  am  so  charmed  to  see  you. 

Rennick.     (aside)     What  a  pretty  little  girl ! 

Mrs.  R.    (to  Roach)     Mr. 

Roach.  No,  no ;  don't  say  you  have  forgotten  me. 
Felix — your  cousin,  Felix  Roach. 

Mrs.  R.     (recognizing  him)     Oh — yes — to  be  sure. 

Roach,  (shaking  hands  icarmly)  I  was  so  delighted 
when  dear  Horace  told  me  you  were  coming. 

Rennick.  (aside)  Felix  Roach  !  Why,  do  I  know  that 
name  ?  Hah  !  The  Dry  Champagne  Company  !  (puts  hat 
on  chair  above  ivindoiv) 

Roach.     Nancy — your  cousin  Martha. 

Nancy,     (going  to  Mrs.  R.  )     Cousin  Martha. 

Mrs.  R.     How  do  you  do,  my  dear  ? 

Roach,  (going  to  Rennick)  Ah,  is  tliis  your  boy? 
And  how  are  you,  my  little  man,  liow  are  you?  (shakes 
hands  ivith  Rennick.  Nancy  shakes  hands  with  Mrs. 
Rennick,   ivho  kisses  her) 

Rennick.     Fairly  bobbish. 

Nancy.     I'm  very  glad  to  see  you,  cousin  Martha. 

Roach.  Nancy ;  this  is — (to  Rennick)  I  forget  your 
name  ? 

Rennick.    Archibald.     (Nancy  crosses  to  Rennick) 

Mrs.  R.     (quickly)     Freddy. 

Rennick.     Yes,  Freddy  Archibald. 

Nancy,     (giving  her  hand  to  Rennick)     How  de  do  ? 

Roach.  Come,  come  ;  kiss  each  other.  Cousins,  you 
know,  cousins. 

Rennick.  (aside)  This  is  a  little  awkward,  (kisses 
Nancy) 

Mrs.  R.     (she  is  jealous)     Freddy! 

Rennick.    Yes. 

Mrs.  R.     Don't  be  forward,  dear. 

Rennick.     (<o  Nancy)     Do  you  mind? 

Nancy.     Not  at  all.     Do  you  ? 

Rennick.  Not  particularly.  (Roach  laughs  and  Mrs. 
Rennick  looks  annoyed) 

Roach.  He's  a  fine  little  fellow,  dear  Martha,  and  the 
image  of  you. 

Mrs.  R.  (forcing  a  smile)  You  think  so  ?  Freddy, 
don't  forget  you  have  to  go  to  the  station,  love. 

Rennick.  (taking  cigarette  case  out  of  his  pocket)  No, 
I'm  just  going,  (to  Nancy)  You'll  excuse  me  ?  (crosses 
to  Roach) 


THE  NEW  BOY.  17 

Roach,     (fo  Rennick)     You  know  the  way  ? 

Rennick.  Yes,  thanks.  {holding  cigarette  case  to 
Roach)     Have  a  cigarette  ? 

Roach,    (surprised)     What!    Why,  you  don't  mean 

Mrs.  R.     (quickly)     They  are  chocolate  ones,  of  course. 

Roach.    Oli !  chocolate. 

Rennick.  Oh,  yes,  chocolate  ones,  (laughing  to  him- 
self) 

Nancy,  (aside  to  Rennick)  I  love  chocolate,  (takes  a 
cigarette  from  his  case  before  he  can  prevent  her)  Do  let  me 
have  one.     (Mrs.  Rennick  and  Roach   sit  on  couch  l.) 

Rennick.  (aside  to  Nancy)  I  say,  look  here,  don't — 
don't  1 

Nancy,  (having  put  cigarette  in  her  mouth,  aside  to 
him)     Oh,  you  naughty  boy  ;  they're  tobacco  ! 

Rennick.*  (aside  to  Nancy)  Have  you  ever  smoked 
one  ? 

Nancy,     (affirmatively)     Hem. 

Rennick.     (aside  ^o  Nancy)     Like  it? 

Nancy,  {affirmatively)  Hem.  (aside  to  Rennick) 
Come  into  the  garden. 

Rennick.     (aside  to  Nancy)     Eh  ? 

Nancy,  (aside  to  Rennick)  Come  into  the  garden  and 
have  a  puff.     (Rennick  takes  his  hat  from  chair) 

Mrs.  R.  (to  Roach)  Quite  so,  quite  so.  (to  Rennick) 
Don't  lose  anj'  more  time,  dear.     Do  make  haste  ! 

Rennick.     All  right.     I'm  going. 

Nancy,     (aside  to  Rennick)  Got  any  matches  ? 

Rennick.    Yes. 

Nancy,  (aside  to  Rennick)  I  can  see  you're  a  wicked 
boy,  and  I  know  I  shall  like  you.  (puts  her  arm  round 
his  neck)     Come  along,  Freddy. 

Rennick.    (aside)  This  is  getting  exceedingly  awkward. 

Nancy.  Come  along,  do.  (Rennick  and  Nancy  dance 
off  together  by  windows  R. ,  she  with  her  left  arm  round 
his  neck) 

Roach,  (looking  after  them)  Ah,  ha  ;  they  have  soon 
made  friends,  haven't  they  ? 

Mrs.  R.  (very  jealous,  looking  after  them)  Yea — yes. 
(aside)     How  dare  she? 

Roach.     They  will  be  great  chums,  I  can  see. 

M[rs.  R.  I  am  sure  they  will,  (aside)  Forward  little 
flirt  ! 

Roach.     Nancy  has  her  father's  affectionate  nature. 

Mrs.  R.  Has  she?  (aside)  And  Archibald  is  so  weak  ! 

Roach.     You  stay  some  time  with  dear  Horace,  I  hope? 

Mrs.  R.     I  remain  permanently. 

Roach.     Permanently  ? 

Mrs.  R.     (aside,  rising  and  going  r.)     He'll  never  get 
away  to  the  station. 
2 


Ig  THE  NEW  BOY. 

Roach.     Did  you  Bay — permanently  ? 

Mrs.  R.     He  has  offered  me  the  post  of  Matron. 

Roach,     (rising)  Matron  !  ! 

Mrs.  R.  (aside)  If  she  goes  with  him  and  sees  Freddy, 
we  are  lost ! 

Roach,  (aside)  She's  a  fixture — an  infernal  fixture! 
(aloud)  My  dear  Martha,  I  am  surprised — indeed  I  am 
pained  that  Horace  should  have  thought  fit  to  ask  you  to 
fill  a — well — a  menial  office.  He  should  remember  your 
station  ! 

Mrs.  R.  (absently — looking  off  R.)  He  will  forget  all 
about  the  station  ! 

Roach.  But  he  mustn't,  he  shan't,  (going  up  stage)  I 
will  go  myself  and 

Mrs.  R.     (turning  quickly)    No,  no  I     7  will  go. 

Roach,     (corning  down)     You  will  leave  at  once  ! 

Mrs.  R.    Yes,  I 

Roach.     I  think  you  are  quite  right. 

Mrs.  R.  If  Dr.  Candy  returns,  you  will  make  my 
excuses? 

Roach.     Certainly.     Leave  it  to  me. 

Mrs.  R.  (going  r.)  You  see,  I  left  my  luggage  in  the 
cloak  room. 

Roach,     (aside)     A  good  thing  she   didn't  bring  it  up. 

Mrs.  R.     (aside)     I  must  find  Archibald. 

Roach.  You  are  acting  so  wisely — most  judiciously. 
(taking  her  hand  in  both  of  his)  Good-bye,  dear  Martha,' 
good-bye.  Charmed  to  have  met  you.  God  bless  you. 
(exit  Mrs.  Rennick  by  window  R.) 

Mrs.  R.     (outside)     Freddy!  Freddy,  dear  !  I  want  you. 

Roach.  She  is  gone,  really  gone !  How  providential 
my  seeing  her  alone  !  Just  imagine  Horace  offering  her  a 
home  !  It's  a  mercy  I  was  able  to  put  a  spoke  in  his 
wheel.  If  Martha  once  got  a  footing  in  the  house  I  should 
have  been  out  of  it — completely  out  of  it. 

(Enter  Dr.  Candy,  d.l.c.) 

Candy.     Oh,  you're  here.    Where  is  Martha  ? 

Roach.     I  regret  to  say,  my  dear  Horace,  she  is  gone. 

Candy.     Gone. 

Roach.  I  spoke  plainly  ;  I  reasoned  with  her,  but  it 
was  of  no  avail. 

Candy.    What  do  you  mean? 

Roach.  I  said  in  offering  her  a  home  you  were  actuated 
by  the  purest  kindness.  She  replied  :  Perhaps  so,  but  it  is 
mistaken  kindness. 

Candy.    What  ? 

Roach.  Why — I  urged,  why  should  you  call  the  post 
of  Matron  a  menial  one?  You  cannot  believe  that  our 
dear  Horace  would  intentionally  insult  you. 


THE  NEW  BOY.  19 


Candy.    But  she  could  not- 


ROACH.  She  returned  :  Intentional  or  not,  the  insult 
remains. 

Candy.     Bless  my  heart ! 

Roach.  Then  1  lost  my  temper.  I  had  kept  it  hitherto, 
but  at  this — gross  ingratitude — 1  was  roused.  I  spoke 
warmly — not  intemperately,  but  warmly — and,  without 
another  word,  she  left  tlie  house,  (ivaving  his  hand 
toioards  icindoivs  R.) 

Candy.  But  when  I  made  the  proposition  she  seemed 
pleased  ! 

Roach,     (shrugging  Jiis  ahoidders)     Ah  ! 

Candy.     She  expressed  no  resentment ! 

Roach.     But  it  rankled — it  evidently  rankled. 

Candy,  (going  to  d.l.c.)  If  she  had  only  hinted — dear, 
dear,  dear  ! 

Roach,  (following  him)  I'm  sorry  you  should  be  annoyed, 
Horace. 

Candy.  Annoyed !  I  am  pained — greatly  distressed, 
I  shall  write  to  her. 

Roach.     Would  that  be  wise  ? 

Candy.    Wise  ? 

Roach,     Would  it  be — dignified  ? 

Candy.  Dignified  !  Slie  is  sensitive  ;  I  was  indiscreet ; 
I  have  wounded  her.  Teh,  tch,  tch  !  Poor  Martha  !  I 
shall  write  to  her  at  once,     (exit  D.L.C) 

Roach.  But,  my  dear  Horace  ;  if  you  would  allow  me 
to  suggest — (aside)  If  he  insists  upon  writing,  dear 
Martlia  sliall  hear  from  me  too.     (exit  D.L.C.) 

Nancy,  (oidside)  There,  tlirow  that  cigarette  away, 
you  nauglity  boy.     I  know  you'll  make  yourself  ill. 

(Enter  Nancy  and  Rennick  by  loindows  R.) 

Rennick.     I  wonder  you  are  not. 

Nancy.     I'm  older  than  you. 

Rennick.  How  old  are  you?  (pids  down  hat  on  otto- 
man R.C.) 

Nancy.     You  should  never  ask  a  woman  her  age. 

Rennick.     A  woman  !     Ha,  ha  ! 

Nancy.  So  I  am — very  nearly.  I  shall  be  seventeen 
next  month.  Then  I  shall  put  up  my  hair  and  be  very 
particular. 

Rennick.  So  long  as  your  hair  is  down  I  suppose  you 
can  do  as  you  like  ? 

Nancy.  Oli,  yes.  It's  one  of  our  unwritten  laws.  I 
say,  Freddy,  are  you  really  fourteen  ? 

Rennick.     Yes,  really.     Do  you  think  I  look  younger? 

Nancy.     I  should  have  tliought  you  were  older. 

Rennick.  Would  you?  They  say  I've  got  on  rather 
fast.     I've  made  rapid  progress. 


20  THE  NEW  BOY. 

Nancy.  So  I  should  imagine.  Come  and  sit  down. 
{they  sit  side  by  side  on  conch  L.c.)  I  can  always  talk 
better  sitting  down.  Tlieie  ;  now  we  are  very  snug  and 
cosy,  aren't  we?     (links  her  arm  in  his) 

Rennick.     {nervously)    Y-e-s — thank  you. 

Nancy.     Now,  tell  me.     Have  you  ever  been  in  love? 

Rennick.     Occasionally  ;  yes. 

Nancy.     You  began  early  ? 

Rennick.     Not  particularly. 

Nancy.     Are  you  engaged  ? 

Rennick.     Not  at  present.     Are  you  ? 

Nancy.     I  think  so. 

Rennick.     You  are  not  quite  certain. 

Nancy.     Well — he  hasn't  actually  proposed. 

Rennick.    Who  is  he  ? 

Nancy.  Theodore  ;  Monsieur  Theodore  de  Brizac,  the 
French  master. 

Rennick.  That  man  I  saw  in  the  garden  ?  That  black 
fellow  with  the  cropijed  head  ? 

Nancy.  1  know  he  is  in  love  because  he  is  so  fearfully 
jealous. 

Rennick.     Is  he  ? 

Nancy.  He  wouldn't  like  to  see  you  with  your  arm 
around  my  waist. 

Rennick.     But,  I  haven't. 

Nancy.     I  mean,  if  you  had  he  would  kill  you. 

Rennick.  {rising)  One  moment.  I  think  I'll  take  a 
little  turn  in  the  garden. 

Nancy,  {pulling  him  down  beside  her)  No,  no  ;  I  want 
you. 

Rennick.  These  Frenchmen  are  so  fond  of  fighting 
duels,  and  one  of  these  days  I'm  sure  there  will  be  an 
accident. 

Nancy.  It's  all  right ;  he's  in  the  class-room  now.  Look 
here,  Freddy  dear,  I'm  in  a  fix. 

Rennick.     With  the  Frenchman  ? 

Nancy.     No.  with  Bullock  Major. 

Rennick.     Who's  Bullock  Major  ? 

Nancy.  The  head  boy.  We  were  engaged  for  three 
weeks  last  term,  and  he  won't  give  me  back  my  letters. 
Now,  I  want  you  to  get  them  for  me. 

Rennick.     Perhaps  he  won't  listen  to  me. 

Nancy.    You  must  make  him. 

Rennick.     How  ? 

Nancy.     You  must  offer  to  fight  him. 

Rennick.    Must  I  ? 

Nancy.     He  wont  refuse  you. 

Rennick.     I  was  afraid  he  might. 

Nancy.     He  has  fought  every  boy  in  the  school. 

Rennick.     What  an  interesting  youth  ! 


THE  NEW  BOY.  21 

Nancy.  Freddy,  dear,  you  will  challenge  him  at  once, 
won't  you? 

Rennick.  Well — you  see — I  haven't  been  introduced  to 
him  yet. 

Nancy.     He.  won't  mind  that. 

Rennick.     Will  he  not  ? 

Nancy.  And  when  you  have  beaten  him  he  will  give  up 
the  letters. 

Rennick.     But,  supposing  he  beats  me  ? 

Nancy.     Then  it  can't  be  helped,  that's  all. 

Rennick.  Oh,  that's  all !  My  having  two  black  eyes 
and  a  crooked  nose  weuld  be  of  no  consequence,  I  sup- 
pose ? 

Nancy.  Not  if — if  you  loved  me.  {taking  his  hand  in 
both  of  hers  and  stroking  it) 

Rennick.     (aside)     I  wisli  Martha  would  come. 

Nancy.     But  I  don't  believe  you  do  love  me. 

Rennick.     Well — you  see — there's  the  Frenchman. 

Nancy.  But  he  hasn't  proposed  yet ;  so,  if  you  like,  we 
might  be  engaged  till  he  does,  (leans  her  head  against  his 
shoidder) 

Rennick.  (aside)  I'm  sure  this  girl  is  more  than  six- 
teen. 

Nancy.     Isn't  that  a  good  idea  ? 

Rennick.     Very— yes.     (aside)     What  is  Martha  doing  ? 

Nancy.     No  one  must  guess  our  secret. 

Rennick.     No  ;  we'll  keep  it  dark. 

Nancy.     You  won't  tell  your  mother  ? 

Rennick.     No,  I  won't  tell  my  mother. 

Nancy.     She  might  object  ? 

Rennick.  Yes,  I  fancy  she  mightn't  like  it.  She's  odd, 
you  know,  very  odd.     So  jealous. 

Nancy.     Jealous  ! 

Rennick.  You  see,  I'm  an  only  husband — I  mean,  an 
only  child,  and  I  require  a  good  deal  of  care. 

Nancy.  I  think  3'ou  can  take  care  of  yourself,  Freddy, 
dear.  When  people  are  engaged,  it  is  usual  for  the  gentle- 
man to  embrace  the  lady. 

Rennick.     Ah,  that's  only  in  books. 

Nancy.  Aren't  you  going  to  take  a  leaf  out  of  one  of 
them  ? 

Rennick.     I— I  shouldn't  like  to  be  forward. 

Nancy.  You're  not.  You're  very  backward,  (leaning 
toicards  him)     You  may,  if  you  like. 

Rennick.  (very  nervously)  Oh,  thank  you.  I'm  ex- 
tremely  obliged.     I 

(Enter  De  Brizac  d.  l.  c.  unobserved.) 

Very  good  of  you,  I'm  sure,     (gives  her  a  short,  quick 
kiss  on  her  cheek) 


2-2  THE  NEW  BOY. 

De  B.  So  !  (Rennick  and  Nancy  start  and  look  round] 
So  !  I  see  you  before  my  eyes  !     (Nancy  rises  quickly) 

Rennick.  (jnmps  np— aside)  The  Freiiclirnan,  by 
Jingo!  {goes  R.  quickly,  taking  np  his  hat  from  otto- 
viiin,  R.  C.) 

De  B.  {to  Rennick)  You  embrace  her,  you  caress  her  ; 
you,  you 

Rennick.     {nervously)     I  couldn't  help  it. 

De  B.     Couldn't  help  it! 

Rennick.     She  began  it. 

Nancy.     Oh,  Freddy  ! 

De  B.  {to  Rennick)  You  are  a  beast,  a  pig,  which  you 
like! 

Rennick.     Thank  you,  I've  no  choice. 

Nancy,  {to  de  Brizac)  You  don't  quite  understand. 
This  is  my  cousin,  young  Bolder,  the  new  boy. 

Rennick.     Yes.  I'm  quite  new. 

De  B.  Ah,  I  see  !  I  was  mistaken,  {holds  out  his  hand 
to  Rennick)     Young  Bolder  ;  I  make  it  up. 

Rennick.     {shaking  hands)     Very  pleased,  I'm  sure. 

De  B.     I  am  Monsieur  Theodore  de  Brizac. 

Rennick.     So  I  should  imagine. 

DeB.     Eh? 

Rennick.     I  mean,  you  look  like  it. 

De  B.  Ah  !  {going  to  Nancy)  Miss  Nancy,  my  humble 
apologies. 

Rennick.  {aside)  I'm  glad  he  calmed  down.  It  would 
liave  been  a  pity  to  spoil  him.  {goes  R.  The  School-bell 
rings) 

De  B.  {aside  to  Nancy)  I  was  so  jealous.  You  will 
forgive  me  ? 

Nancy.      {holding    doion    her    head)      Well— for    this 

once. 

DeB.  {seizing  her  hand)  My  life  !  My  angel!  (kisses 
her  Jiand.  Murmur  of  boys'  voices  heard  off  R.  Rennick, 
ivho  is  standing  looking  out  of  ivindows,  retreats  into 
room) 

Rennick.  {looking  off -r.)  Those  noisy  young  cubs  are 
out  of  school  again  ! 

De  B.  Ah,  the  boys  !  They  go  to  play  football,  {to 
Rennick)    You  play  football  ? 

Rennick.     Not  as  a  rule,  no. 

De  B.     You  like  football  ? 

Rennick.     I'm  not  passionately  fond  of  it. 

De  B.     We  play  the  Rugby  game.     It  is  magnifique  ! 

Rennick.    Is  it  ? 

De  B.     We  hug,  we  hack,  we  scrimmage ! 

Rennick.     Do  you  ? 

Boys,  {calling,  outside)  Now  then,  Monsieur ;  we're 
waiting.    Are  you  ready,  sir? 


THE  NEW  BOY.  23 

De  B.  {calling,  crossing  R.)  Yes,  yes.  {to  Rennick) 
Come,  young  Bolder. 

ilENNlCK.     I  don't  think  I'll  begin  to-day. 

De  B.  Nonsense  !  {calling  to  the  Boys)  Here  is  a  new 
boy. 

Boys,     {outside)    A  new  boy  !    Hooray  ! 

De  B.     (ea<c7ii7igr  Rennick  hy  the  arm)     Come? 

Rennick.     {draunug  back)     No,  no  ;  excuse  me. 

Boys,  {outside)  Bring  him  out,  sir,  bring  him 
out! 

De  B.     You  hear  them  ? 

Rennick.     I  do  ;  distinctlye 

De  B.     They  want  you. 

Rennick.     They're  too  kind. 

Boys,     {outside)    Now  then,  sir.     Fetch  him  along  I 

De  B.  {dragging  Rennick)  It  is  the  rule.  You  must 
play ! 

Rennick.     I  can't — I  won't ! 

De  B.     Come,  sir,  come  ! 

Rennick.  I  don't  hug  ;  I  never  hack  ;  I  can't  scrim- 
mage !  Where's  Martha  ?  Why  the  dickens  doesn't  she 
come?  (De  Brizac  gives  a  sudden  pull)  Oh,  my  good 
heavens  !  {exeunt  De  Bhizac  and  Rennick  r.  A  loud 
yell  is  heard  from  the  Boys) 

Nancy,  {looking  off  r.  )  Poor  Freddy !  I  hope  they 
won't  be  too  rough  with  him.  He  looks  delicate  ;  and 
Bullock  Major  is  not  always  very  considerate.  I  think  I'll 
go  and  watch  the  game.  Dear  Theodore.  How  delight- 
fully jealous  he  was  !     {exit  by  windows  R.) 

{Enter  Mrs.  Rennick,  Dr.  Candy,  and  Roach  d.  l.  c.) 

Mrs.  R.  {coming  doum  c.)  But  really  I  am  quite  dis- 
tressed you  should  have  been  so  mistaken. 

Candy,     {coming  down  L.)    It  was  all  Felix. 

Roach,  {coming  down  r.)  A  misunderstanding — a  pure 
misunderstanding  on  my  part. 

Mrs.  R.  {to  Candy)  I  am  only  too  pleased,  too  grateful, 
t  )  accept  your  generous  offer. 

Roach.  I  am  so  relieved.  No  one  would  have  been  more 
pained  than  I,  had  there  been  a  little  rift  between  you, 
dear  Martha,  and  you,  dear  Horace. 

Candy.  But  you  told  me  in  the  plainest  words 
that 

Roach.  I  don't  remember — I  don't  remember.  My  joy 
at  seeing  you — re-united,  has  put  everything  else  out  of 
my  head. 

Candy.  Humph  !  ( to  Martha)  I  wish  you  had  not 
troubled  yourself.  I  said  I  would  send  my  man  for  joni 
luggage. 


24  THE  NEW  BOY. 

Mrs.  R.  I  know ;  but  I  always  like  to  see  to  things 
myself. 

Roach.  So  methodical— so  methodical,  (murmur  of 
Boys'  voices  heard.     Roach  goes  to  windows  R. ) 

Mrs.  R.     Where  is  Arch — Freddy,  I  wonder? 

Candy.  With  the  boys,  1  fancy.  They  are  gone  to  the 
playing  field,     {murmur  of  voices  heard  off  R.) 

Mrs.  R.     (anxiously)     What  are  they  playing  at  ? 

Candy.     Football. 

Mrs.  R.    Football  ? 

Candy.    Yes. 

Mrs.  R.     But — Freddy  doesn't  play  football. 

Candy.     Oh,  he  will  soon  learn. 

Mrs.  R.     But— isn't  it  rather  a — dangerous  game  ? 

Candy.     A  little  rough,  perhaps,  but  it  does  them  good. 

Mrs.  R.  a  little  rough  !  (aside)  And  Archibald  with 
his  reckless  courage  is  sure  to  be  in  the  thick  of  the  danger. 
(the  sound  of  voices  has  been  coming  nearer  through  the 
above  dialogue) 

Roach.     Wliat  spirits  they  have  !    Such  nice  boys  ! 

Mrs.  R.     You  don't  think 

Candy.     Think  what?     (Boys' voices  are  heard  louder) 

Mrs.  R.     Hark  ! 

Boys,  (outside)  Coward — sneak — trip  him  up — hack 
him  over ! 

(Enter  Nancy,  quickly,  by  windoivs  R.) 

Mrs.  R.    What  is  it  ? 

Nancy.     I  think  they  are  chasing  Freddy. 

Mrs.  R.  Chasing  Freddy  !  Horace  !  (goes  quickly  to 
Candy) 

Rennick.  (outside)  Keep  back,  I  won't  play,  you're 
liurting  me — oh,  you  beasts  ! 

Mrs.  R.     Freddy  !     Freddy  ! 

(Rennick  rims  in  r.,  followed  by  a  yell  from  outside.  He 
has  his  coat  off  and  his  trousers  rolled  up  to  his  knees. 
His  hat  is  crushed  and  muddy,  and  his  ivhite  waistcoat 
muddy. ) 

Candy.     What  is  the  matter  ? 

Rennick.  Stop  them,  stop  them ;  don't  let  them  in  ! 
(sinks  panting  for  breath  on  ottoman  r.  c.  De  Brizac 
appears  at  tvindoivs  R.  holding  up  his  hands  as  if  keeping 
the  boys  back) 

Mrs.  R.  (going  quickly  to  Rennick)  Oh,  my  darling, 
are  you  hurt  ?    (  kneels  beside  him) 

Rennick.    Yes. 

Mrs.  R.     Where  ? 

Rennick.    Everywhere  I 


THE  NEW  BOY.  25 

Mrs.  R.    Were  you  struck  with  the  ball  ? 
Renxick.     I  never  saw  the  ball.     I  think  I  must  have 
been  the  ball  ! 
Candy.     You're  not  half  a  boy. 
Renxick.     I  feel  several. 
Candy.     It's  a  fine  healthy  game,  and  you'll  have  to 

play  it. 

Rennick.  (starting  to  his  feet,  ivildly)  I  won't !  I  don't 
mind  marbles,  and  I  can  put  up  with  leap-frog — but  if  I 
play  football.  I"in  damned  !  ! !  (general  consternation  at 
hearing   Rennick   use   such  language) 

ACT  DROP— QUICK. 


ACT  II. 


Scene.— T/(e  same  as  in  Act  J.— Doctor  Candy  and 
Mrs.  Rennick  discovered.  Candy  is  standing  at  bureau 
up  r..  busy  with  papers.  Mrs.  R.  is  seated  at  writing 
table  L.  addressing  a  letter. 

Candy.  My  dear  Martlia.  I  am  shocked — positively 
shocked  at  liearing  the  boy  make  use  of  such  language  ! 

Mrs.  R.     I  think  you  must  have  been  mistaken. 

Candy.     Thei-e  was  no  mistaking  that  word. 

Mrs.  R.     I  believe  it  was,  "'hang." 

Candy.  "Hang"  does  not  begin  with  a  D.  He  dis- 
tinctly said,  "  I'll  be  d— e— e— d  if  I  play  football." 

Mrs.  R.     I  will  speak  to  him. 

Candy,  (coming  doirn  R.  c.)  I  will  speak  to  him,  and 
if  he  ever  repeats  the  offense  I  shall  have  to  cane  him  ! 

]\Irs.  R.     (risiJig)     Cane  him  ! 

Candy.  I  hope  there  may  be  no  necessity  for  it ;  but,  if 
there  is,  I  must  make  an  example  of  him  for  the  sake  of 
the  school. 

Mrs.  R.     But,  my  dear  Horace — 

Candy.  Spare  the  rod  and  spoil  the  child.  I'll  be  bound 
to  say  that  you  have  never  chastised  him  ? 

Mrs.  R.     No — n — no. 

Candy.  I  thought  not.  A  little  timely  correction  at 
your  hands  would  have  done  him  a  world  of  good.  For 
the  matter  of  that,  it  is  not  too  late  to  begin. 

Mrs.  R.     Don't  you  tliink  he  is — a  little  old  ? 

Candy.  That  is  precisely  the  mistake  you  have  made. 
You  treat  the  boy  as  though  he  were  a  little  man.  Look 
at  the  way  j'ou  dress  him  ! 

Mrs.  R.     He  dresses  himself. 

Candy,  But  he  shouldn't.  From  his  clothes  you  might 
take*  the  lad  to  be  twenty.    However,  it  appears  he  has 


J 


20  THE  NEW  BOY. 

Bome  other  suits  in  his  trunk,  and  I  have  told  him  to  put 
one  on. 

Mrs.  R.     (aside)     Will  he  ever  get  into  it  ? 

Candy.  All  the  boys  would  be  laughing  at  him  ;  and 
besides  that,  I  am  very  particular  about  appearances. 
(turns  tip  R.  a  few  paces) 

(Enter  Rennick  d.  l.  c.    He  is  dressed  in  a  boy's  sailor 
suit  with  knickerbockers. ) 

Rennick.  I  say,  look  here,  I  can  hardly  walk,  I'm  so 
tight. 

Candy.     Tight ! 

Rennick.  (coming  doicn  c.)  Yes,  I  shall  have  to  be  let 
out  somewhere. 

Mrs.  R.     Come  here,  darling. 

Rennick.  (going  to  her)  You  can't  get  your  finger  in 
between  me  and  the  waistband,  (pulling  at  the  waist- 
band of  his  knickerbockers)  It  will  be  quite  impossible  to 
wear  them  at  meals. 

Candy.     Who  made  them  for  you  ? 

Rennick.     Tliey  weren't  made  for  me  at  all. 

Mrs.  R.  (standing  behind  Rennick  and  feeling  his 
waistband)    He  means  they  were  ready  made. 

Rennick.     And  deucedly  badly,  too. 

Candy.     What?    [comes  doum.  R.) 

Mrs.  R.  (aside  to  Rennick)  Hush,  dear,  hush  !  (pulls 
his  icaistband.) 

Rennick.  Mind — mind  !  You're  squeezing  me  like  the 
very  devil ! 

Candy.     Oh,  this  is  monstrous  ! 

Rennick.     Yes,  I  know  it  is. 

Candy.     Something  must  be  done  at  once  I 

Rennick.    You'd  say  so  if  you  felt  like  this. 

Candy.     Come  here,  sir. 

Mrs.  R.     (nervously)     My  dear  Horace 

Candy.     Martha,  leave  this  to  me. 

Rennick.  (going  to  Candy)  I  don't  fancy  you  can  do 
anything. 

Candy,     (sarcasticcdly)     I  think  I  can. 

Rennick.  ( feeling  his  icaistband  at  the  back)  Perhaps 
you  might  cut  me  up  the  back. 

Candy,  (blandly)  Perhaps  I  might  cut  you  across  the 
back. 

Rennick.    What  good  will  that  do  ? 

Candy.     A  great  deal. 

Rennick.     It's  the  wrong  way. 

Candy.     You'll  find  it's  the  right  one. 

Rennick.  Well,  don't  argue,  (turns  his  back  to  Candy) 
Let's  see  what  you  can  do. 

Candy,     (grasping  Rennick  by  the  arm)    Now,  sir. 


THE  NEW  BOY.  27 

Mrs.  R.     (alarmed)     Horace ! 

Candy.  Three  times,  sir,  in  my  presence,  you  have 
made  use  of  words  beginning  with  a  D  ! 

Rennick.     a  what  ? 

Candy.     Three  Ds.  sir,  three  Ds  ! 

Rennick.     Do  you  mean  threepence  ? 

Candy.     This  is  trifling  ! 

Rennick.    Well,  it  isn't  much. 

Mrs.  R.     (warningly)     Freddy,  dear  ! 

Rennick.  {going  to  Mrs.  R.  Aside)  I'm  stooping, 
Martha,  I'm  stooping. 

Candy.  Listen,  sir.  Your  language  is  a  disgrace  to 
yourself  and  the  school,  and  I  give  you  fair  warning  that 
if  I  hear  tlie  sliglitest  repetition  of  it  I  shall  have  to  resort 
to  corporal  punishment. 

Rennick.     Oii,  my  lor' ! 

Candy.     There !     Again  ! 

Rennick.  No,  no  ;  I  said  lor',  L,  O,  R.  There  was  no 
D.     I  cut  the  D  ! 

Candy.  Well,  don't  let  me  have  to  speak  to  you  again. 
Boys  of  tlie  present  day  are  no  sooner  in  their  teens  than 
they  imagine  themselves  to  be  men.  When  I  was  your 
age  I  looked  up  to  those  above  me  ;  but  you,  sir,  appear  to 
think  that  we  are  on  the  same  level.  Be  careful  for  your 
own  sake,  and  let  tliere  be  an  end  of  this,  {goes  up  to 
hureau  at  hack) 

Rennick.  (aside.  Going  to  L..)  I  wish  there  was.  It's 
getting  decidedly  unpleasant. 

Mrs.  R.  (to  Rennick)  You  will  be  careful,  dear.  I  know 
you  will,  (goes  to  seat  doion  R.,  takes  needle-work  from 
table  and  sits) 

Rennick.  (going  a  little  towards  Candy)  I  can  assure 
you.  Dr.  Cand\%  I  have  no  wish  to  quarrel  with  you. 

Candy,     (astonnded)     Quarrel,  sir,  quarrel  ! 

Rennick.  There,  there,  there ;  pray  control  yourself. 
W^lien  you  get  excited  it  makes  things  so  unpleasant. 

Candy,  (frigidly)  Before  I  have  done  with  you,  you 
will  find  I  shall  make  things  still  more  unpleasant. 

(Enter  De  Brizac,  d.  l.  c.) 

De  B.  Pardon,  Doctor  Candy.  Do  you  take  the  Latin 
class  this  afternoon  ? 

Candy.  Yes,  I'm  just  coming,  {going  towards  door.  L. 
C.)  Oh,  by  the  by,  we  haven't  settled  where  this  boy  is  to 
sleep.     I'm  afraid  all  the  dormitories  are  full  ? 

De  B.  No.  You  remember  Smith  Minimus,  went  home 
last  week  with  his  knee  cap  ? 

Rennick.     (anxionshj)     With  his  knee  cap  ? 

Candy.     They  were  tossing  him  up  in  a  blanket. 

De  B.    And  catching  him. 


28  THE  NEW  BOY. 

Rennick.     And  the}^  missed  him  ? 

Candy.  So  it  appears,  {to  De  Brizac)  Then  Smith's 
bed  is  vacant.     Let  me  see — tliat  is  in — 

De  B.     Bullock  Major's  room. 

Rennick.     (aside)     Bullock  Major  !     That's  the  pugilist ! 

Mrs.  R.  (rising)  But — he  has  not  been  accustomed  to 
sleep  with  other  boj's.     He  is  very  nervous. 

Candy.     What,  a  big  boy  like  that  ?  ! 

Rennick.     Oh,  I'm  not  as  big  as  I  look. 

Candy.  Now,  now,  now  ;  I  won't  hear  of  it.  He  must 
conform  to  the  rules  of  the  school,  Martha.  The  other 
boys  would  naturally  resent  any  favoritism,  and — their 
resentment  might  take  a  practical  form  in  the  playground. 
Come,  De  Brizac.     (exit  De  Brizac,  d.  l.  c.  ) 

Rennick.  I  say.  Candy,  Candy.  (Dr.  Candy  at  door 
turns  in  amazement  at  Rennick  calling  him  Candy)  I 
don't  want  to  upset  the  dormitories.  Give  me  a  chair 
bedstead  in  tlie  passage  or  bath-room  ;  I'm  not  particular. 

Candy.  Don't  argue  witli  me,  sir  ;  and  remember  what 
I  said  about  corporal  punishment,     (exit  Candy,  d.  l.  c.  ) 

Rennick.  Martha,  this  cannot  go  on  !  I  will  not  sleep 
with  Bullock  Major ! 

Mrs.  R.     Dearest,  he  may  be  a  nice  boy. 

Rennick.  From  information  I've  received,  he's  a  very 
nasty  boy. 

Mrs.  R.     But,  my  darling — 

Rennick.    How  would  you  like  to  be  tossed  in  a  blanket  ? 

Mrs.  R.     I  know  it's  a  come  down. 

Rennick.  But  you've  got  to  go  up  first.  I  went  through 
the  experience  at  my  first  school.  One,  two,  three,  and 
you  find  younself  close  to  the  ceiling  ! 

Mrs.  R.     Only  for  a  second. 

Rennick.  But  during  that  second  your  interest  is 
centered  on  tlie  agreeable  uncertainty  as  to  whether  your 
ultimate  destination  will  be  the  blanket  or  the  boards. 
You  live  years  in  that  second  ! 

Mrs.  R.     (crosses  l.  )     We  must  hope  for  the  best. 

Rennick.  In  a  matter  of  this  sort,  hope  frequently  tells 
a  flattering  tale. 

Mrs.  R.     My  love ! 

Rennick.  I'm  not  going  to  be  sent  home  with  a  knee- 
cap ! 

Mrs.  R.  l\Iy  dearest,  it  shall  not  come  to  that.  We  may 
be  able  to  get  away  sooner  than  we  think.  Don't  lose 
heart  yet.  Remember,  our  whole  future  depends  upon 
Horace  being  kept  in  ignorance  of  our  marriage.  We  will 
devise  some  pretext  for  leaving  shortly,  (sits  on  couch  L. 
with  her  needle-work) 

Rennick.  {pulling  at  his  waistband)  If  we  don't  leave 
shortly  I  shall  go  off  like  a  cracker. 


THE  NEW  BOY.  29 

Mrs.  R.  Perhaps  Felix  could  help  us.  He  seems  very 
sympathetic. 

Rennick.  Who  ?  Roach  ?  Directly  I  heard  his  name  I 
twigged  him. 

Mrs.  R.     Twigged  him  ? 

Rennick.  I  would  attend  his  execution  with  pleasure. 
Sympathetic  Felix  Roach  was  one  of  the  directors  of  the 
Dry  Champagne  Company  ! 

Mrs.  R.     Nonsense ! 

Rennick.  I  thouglit  I'd  seen  him  before  somewhere  ; 
and  at  last  I  remembered.  I  saw  him  among  the  directors 
at  a  general  meeting  of  tlie  company  two  months  ago. 

Mrs.  R.     (anxiously)     He  didn't  see  you  f 

Rennick.  Oh.  dear,  no.  An  ordinary  shareholder  is 
quite  beneatli  tlie  notice  of  a  director. 

Mrs.  R.     Thank  goodness. 

Rennick.  I  have  no  hesitation  in  saying  that  a  con- 
siderable portion  of  our  little  all  found  its  way  into  the 
pockets  of  sympathetic  Roach. 

Mrs.  R.     And  he  seems  such  a  pleasant  man  ! 

Rennick.     It's  a  way  directors  have. 

Mrs.  R.     Perhaps  he  was  not  to  blame. 

Rennick.  No  director  in  particular  is  ever  to  blame. 
It's  invariably  all  the  others,     {goes  up  c.) 

Mrs.  R.  If  he  knew  our  circumstances  he  might  refund 
the  money. 

Rennick.  I  am  disposed  to  think  that  the  word  "  re- 
fund "  is  an  entire  stranger  to  sympathetic  Roach. 

Mrs.  R.  Still,  I  can't  help  thinking  if  he  only  knew 
— {seeing  Roach,  who  appears  at  window  r.)     Ahem  ! 

{Enter  Roach  r.) 

Roach,  {going  to  her)  Ah,  dear  Martha ;  you  have 
forgiven  me  for  my  absurd  mistake  ?  So  charmed  to  see 
you  and  Ilor.ice  such  good  friends. 

]\Irs.  li.    Horace  is  most  kind.    (Rennick  comes  down  R.) 

Roach.  And  he  is  so  taken  with  your  boy.  But  there — 
who  would  not  be  ? 

Rennick.  {aside)  He's  got  his  limited  company  manners 
on. 

Roach,  {feeling  in  his  pocket)  Now,  I  wonder  what  I've 
got  in  my  pocket  ? 

Rennick.   {aside)  I  know  the  correct  answer  to  that. 

Roach,  {taking  a  peg  top  from  his  pocket)  A  peg  top. 
{going  to  Rennick)     I  declare  it's  a  peg  top  ! 

Rennick.     Oh,  do  you  play  tops  ? 

Roach,  (giving  top  to  Rennick)  I'm  afraid  I've  forgotten 
the  way,  but  you  shall  teach  me — ha,  ha — you  shall  teach 
me. 


30  THE  NEW  BOY. 

Rennick.     I  don't  fancy  I  could  teach  you  much. 

Roach.  He,  ha  !  By  Jove,  I've  forgotten  the  string — 
bad  Cousin  FeHx  has  forgotten  the  string.  No  matter 
{taking  a  halfpenny  from  his  pocket)  A  ha'penny — (put- 
ting halfpenny  in  Rennick's  hand)  a  ha'penny  will  supply 
the  deficiency. 

Rennick.  (aside,  looking  at  halfpenny)  Interim  divi- 
dend on  fifteen  thousand  pounds  ! 

Roach,  (to  Mrs.  R.)  And  so  Horace  has  secured  your 
services  as  Matron.  He  is  indeed  fortunate.  The  remun- 
eration is — satisfactory,  I  hope  ? 

Mrs.  R.     He  gives  us  a  home. 

Roach.     But — nothing  more? 

Rennick.     Not  at  present. 

Roach.    Eh  ? 

Rennick.  (aside)  Now,  I'll  astonish  sympathetic  Roach. 
{Aloud)  Pray  don't  be  anxious  on  our  account.  It's  all 
right. 

Roach,     (suspiciously)  WJiat  does  that — dear  boy  mean  ? 

Rennick.  (going  to  Roach)  Oh  yes.  Martha — Mother 
— Mother  is  going  to  have  everytliing. 

Mrs.  R.  My  love  ;  Cousin  Horace  might  not  like  you  to 
mention — 

Rennick.  Oh,  we  can  trust  Cousin  Felix ;  he's  so  nice 
and  kind. 

Roach,  (patting  Rennick's  shoulder)  Dear  boy — dear 
boy. 

Rennick.  You'll  be  glad  to  hear  that  Doctor  Candy  has 
made  Mother  liis  sole  heiress. 

Roach,     (forgetting  himself)     What  ?  ! 

Rennick.     I  thought  you'd  be  pleased. 

Roach,     (fo  Mrs.  R.)     But — is  this — is  this  true? 

Mrs.  R.     Horace  told  me  so. 

Roach.     He  did  ? 

Mrs.  R.     Yes. 

Rennick.     That's  one  for  sympathetic  Roach  ! 

Roach,  (aside)  What  a  swindle !  What  an  infernal 
swindle  !  !  (aloud)  My  dear  Martha,  I  congratulate  you 
most  heartily.  I  can't  say  how  delighted  I  am ;  I  really 
can't,  (shakes  hands  ivith  her) 

Rennick.     (aside)  His  joy  is  too  deep  for  words. 

Mrs.  R.     I  am  sure  you  are  ver}^  good. 

Roach.  No,  no.  The  world  would  be  a  poor  place  if  we 
could  not  rejoice  in  the  good  fortune  of  our  nearest — and 
dearest. 

Rennick.     (aside)     Tliis  is  very  toviching. 

Roach,  (putting  his  arm  r-ound  Rennick's  neck)  You 
and  I.  dear  Martha,  were  always  the  best  of  friends. 

Rennick.     (aside)     It's  the  first  I've  heard  of  it. 

Roach.    Indeed,  in  the  old  days — the  dear  old  days— 


1! 


THE  NEW  BOY.  31 

I    had    hoped    that    we    might    have    been  —  something 
more. 

Mrs.  R.  Oh,  Felix. 

Roach.  But  I  was  diffident ;  I  concealed  my  feelings, 
let  the  golden  opportunitj'  slip,  and  we  drifted  apart  on 
opposite  currents. 

Rennick.     (aside)  Now  he's  becoming  nautical. 

Roach,  (fo  Mrs.  R. )  Yes,  yes,  yes;  I  have  never  for- 
gotten those  days— (siYs  on  chair  R.  of  couch)  those  happy 
dajs  when  I  lost  you. 

Rennick.     (aside)     He's  getting  a  little  mixed. 

Roach,  (taking  Rennick's  arm  and  draicing  him  to- 
ivards  him)  And  when  I  saw  this  dear  boy,  with  his 
motlier's  eyes  and  his  mother's  smile— (Rennick  smothers 
a  laugh)— I  said  to  myself,  ah,  the  old  Martha ! 

Rennick.     Good  old  Martha  ! 

Mrs.  R.     (loarningly)  Freddy,  dear  ! 

Roach.  If  I  had  only  been  bolder,  if  things  liad  been 
different  (imtting  his  hand  under  Rennick's  chin)  this 
treasure  might  have  been  mine. 

Rennick.     Well,  I'm  open  to  an  offer  now. 

Mrs.   R.     My  dearest ! 

Roach.  Don't  check  him.  Don't  nip  the  bud  in  the 
springtime  of  its  youth.  One,  two,  three,  and  up  we  go  ! 
(takes  Rennick  on  Ids  knee)  There.  Now,  we're  comfort- 
able, aren't  we? 

Rennick.    Oh,  very. 

Roach.  Yes,  Martha,  I  cannot  forget  the  past.  You 
revive  the  old  memories— the  old  hopes,  (he  moves  his 
knee  up  and  doicn) 

Rennick.     Don't  joggle ! 

Roach.  When  I  remember  what  might  have  been,  I 
cannot  refrain  from  thinking  of  what  may  be.  (moves  his 
knee) 

Rennick.     Don't  joggle ! 

Mrs.  R.     But,  my  dear  Felix,  I 

Roach.  I  know,  I  know — With  our  young  friend  here  I 
cannot  express  myself  as  plainly  as  I  could  wish,  but  I 
would  only  say (moves  his  knee) 

Rennick.     Don't  joggle  !  don't  joggle  ! 

Roach.  You  have  a  son,  I  have  a  daughter.  We  shouhl 
be  a  nice  little  party  of  four  devoted  to  one  another  and  as 
happy  as  the  day  is  long. 

Mrs.  R.      Oh,  but  really,  Felix— 

Rennick.     Don't  check  him. 

Roach.  Dear  boy.  what  a  playmate  he  will  make  for 
Nancy,  (enter  Candy,  d.  l.  c.  )  Martha,  my  little  girl  needs 
a  mother's  care  ;  and  I— I  have  been  so  true,  so  constant 
to  my  early  love.  If  you  will  only  give  me  one  word  of 
hope,  you  will  make  me  the  happiest-^ 


32  THE  NEW  BOY. 

Candy.  Humph  !  Ahem  !  (Roach  starts  up  and  lets 
Rennick  sZ?2>  who  falls  forivard  on  his  face.  Roach  goes 
doum.  R.) 

Rennick.  You  stui)id  ass  ;  why  didn't  you  say  you  were 
going  to  buck  jump?  !     {rises  and  rubs liis knee) 

Roach.  Ah,  Horace  ;  you  find  us  in  the  middle  of  a 
game  of  romps  ;  "ride  acock  horse  to  Banbury  Cross  " — 
you  know,  you  know.     Boys  will  be  boys.     Ha,  ha  ! 

Candy.     You  should  be  careful  at  your  age. 

Roach.  My  age?  And  what  may  that  be?  (taking 
Rennick  by  both  hands)  Come,  my  little  man,  how  old  is 
Cousin  Felix  ? 

Rennick.     I  should  think  about  sixty.    (Candy  laughs) 

Mrs.  R.     Freddy  ! 

Roach.     Oh,  come,  come  now  ! 

Rennick.     I  shouldn't  take  you  for  more. 

Roach.     More — more  ? 

Rennick.     Well,  you  don't  look  it.     {Ca^X)Y  laughs) 

Roach,  {slapping  Rennick  on  the  back)  Dear  boy, 
dear  boy.  {aside)  Impudent  young  cub.  (Rennick  sits 
on  ottoman,  R.  c,  and  stoox>s  down  to  tie  his  shoe  lace) 

Candy.  I  came,  Martha,  to  ask  you  to  look  over  the 
school  with  me. 

Mrs.  R.     {rising)     Certainly,  Horace. 

Candy.  I  want  to  show  you  the  house,  the  boys'  rooms, 
and  instruct  you  in  all  the  domestic  arrangements  {goes 
up  stage) 

Mrs.  R.  {going  up  stage)  I  shall  be  glad  to  see  every- 
thing. 

Candy.     Freddy. 

Rennick.     Hullo  ! 

Candy,     {correcting  him)    Sir  I 

Rennick.    Yes  ? 

Candy,     {louder)     Sir ! 

Rennick.    Wiiat? 

Candy,     {louder)     Sir ! 

Rennick.     Well,  what  is  it? 

Candy,  {severely)  When  you  address  me  you  will  be 
good  enough  to  say  "  sir." 

Rennick.     Oh,  all  right. 

Candy,     {stamping  his  foot)    Sir  1  ! 

Rennick.     {shouting)    Sir! 

Candy.  Tea  is  at  five  o'clock  in  the  big  school-room. 
Come,  Martha,  (emt  Mrs.  Rennick  d.  l.  c.)  Five  o'clock, 
remember.     Don't  be  late,     {exit  Candy  d.  l.  c.) 

Rennick.  {i-isiyig)  Sir!  I  say,  what  time  do  they 
dine? 

Roach.  The  school  dinner  was  over  before  you  arrived. 
They  have  supper  about  eight. 

Rennick.    Supper  ? 


THE  NEW  BOY.  33 

Roach.     Bread  and  cheese  and  a  glass  of  beer. 

Rennick.  1  hate  bread  and  cheese  and  I  can't  drink 
beer ! 

Roach.     Then  they'll  give  you  milk  and  water. 

Rennick.     That's  a  lively  tipple  ! 

Roach,  (aside)  I  must  make  a  friend  of  this  boy  to 
keep  in  with  Martha.   .  {aloud)     I  daresay  you're  hungry  ? 

Rennick.     I'm  positively  starving. 

Roach.     And  thirsty  ? 

Rennick.     As  a  dustman. 

Roach,  (going  r.  )  Come  to  the  tuckshop  and  have 
some  ginger  pop. 

Rennick.  Ginger  pop !  I'm  dying  for  a  whiskey  and 
soda. 

Roach.     Bless  the  boy  !     Whiskey  and  soda  ? 

Rennick.     Do  you  never  drink  it  ? 

Roach.     Yes,  but  I 

Rennick.  (with  great  intention)  Perhaps  you  prefer 
dry  cham])agne  ? 

Roach,  (snsjnciously)  What  do  you  know  about  dry 
champagne  ? 

Rennick.    Why,  we  lost  all  our  money  in  it. 

Roach,  (off  his  guard)  In  the  Dry  Champagne  Com- 
pany ? 

Rennick.     Oh,  you  know  it? 

Roach.     I — I've  heard  of  it. 

Rennick.     You'll  hear  more  of  it  presently. 

Roach.     What  do  you  mean,  boy  ? 

Rennick.     Tliey'i-e  going  to  prosecute  the  directors. 

Roach.     What  stuff  and  rubbish  ! 

Rennick.  The  directors?  Yes,  they  are.  It  will  be  a 
good  job  when  tliey're  all  carted  off  to  Holloway,  won't  it? 

Roach,  (forcing  a  laugJi)  Ha,  ha !  Rather  hot  for 
them,  eh  ? 

Rennick.     Oh,  they'll  find  it  nice  and  cool  there. 

Roach,  (taking  Rennick  by  the  arm)  Ha,  ha  !  Come 
and  have  a  chink,  come  and  have  a  drink  !  (exeunt  by 
windows  K.,  laughing) 

(Enter  De  Brizac,  d.  l.  c.) 

De  B.  Not  here  !  Now  where  has  that  boy  gone  ?  Per- 
haps he  is  out  with  Miss  Nancy — confound  him.  He  is  her 
cousin,  and  a  very  affectionate  cousin  from  what  I  have 
seen.  Bah  !  He  is  only  a  boy  !  I  make  a  fool  of  myself, 
(takes  up  Nancy's  pliotograph  from  mantel-shelf)  Ah,  but 
slie  is  divine  !  What  a  nose,  what  an  eye,  what  a  lip  ! 
There  is  many  a  slip  'twixt  the  kiss  and  the  lip.  (kisses 
photocjrapli.  Enter  'Nx'SCYtvith  a  packet  in  her  hand,  u, 
unobserved.     To  photograph )    You  forgive  me  :  you  do  not 

3 


34  THE  NEW  BOY. 

mind?  No,  you  still  smile.  My  angel — I  kiss  your  smile. 
(kisses  jihotograph.  Sees  Nancy  and  piitspliotograjfli  hack 
on  mantel-shelf)  I  beg  your  pardon,  Madenioisellt ;  loould 
not  resist  the  temptation. 

Nancy.     You  should  put  it  au-ay  from  you. 

De  B.     I  cannot. 

Nancy.     You  don't  try. 

De  B.     How  can  I  tiy  ? 

Nancy.  You  miglit  carry  a  photograph  aTJout;  in  your 
pocket  and  see  how  seldom  j-ou  could  take  it  out  and  look 
at  it. 

De  B.     But  I  have  not  a  photograph. 

Nancy,  (going  to  ottoman,  r.  c.)  If  I  thought  you 
would  really  try  and  resist  temptation — I  would  give  you 
one. 

De  B.     Oh,  Miss  Nancy  ! 

Nancy,  (sits  on  ottoman,  opening  packet)  Tliey  have 
.iust  sent  these  home.  I  was  bringing  them  to  show  Doctor 
Candy.     You  shall  see  vvliat  you  think  of  them. 

De  B.     {going  to  her)     You  are  so  good  ! 

Nancy.  I  want  you  to  be  so  too.  I've  been  taken  in 
three  different  positions.  (giving  him  a  photograph) 
That's  one  of  them. 

De  B.     Ah,  cliarming — absolutely  charming  ! 

Nancy,     (giving  him  anotlwr)     Here's  another. 

De  B.     Exquisite  ! 

Nancy.  I  think  it's  rather  good,  (giving  him  another) 
That  is  the  last. 

De  B.  Oh,  what  can  I  say  ?  (sits  beside  lier)  How  can 
I  choose  ? 

Nancy,  (looking  ox-er  the  photographs  in  his  liands) 
Which  do  you  think  vou  would  find  most  difficult  to  re- 
sist ? 

De  B.  Well — now — let  me  see.  I  think — yes,  I  tliink 
tliis  one  would  give  me  tlie  most  trouble. 

Nancy.     You  see  more  temptation  in  that  one  ? 

De  B.     Oh.  it  is  distracting  !  ! 

Nancy.  Tlien.  keep  it.  (takes  the  other  two  photo- 
graphs from  him)  Put  it  away  in  your  pocket,  and  prac- 
tise self-denial. 

De  B.     How  can  I  repay  your  kindness  ? 

Nancy.  It  will  be  .sufficient  for  me  to  feel  that  I  am 
helping  you  to  be  a  better  man. 

De  B.     I  sliall  .soon  learn  from  such  a  cliarming  teacher. 

Nancy.     You  think  the  plan  a  good  one? 

De  B.     (seizing  hoth  her  hands)     It  is  simply  superb  ! 

Nancy.  I'm  so  glad  you  like  mv  system,  (he  kisses  her 
hands) 

Rennick.  (off  11.)  Ihi.  ha!  Tfs  good,  isn't  it?  (they 
jump  icp.    She  runs  to  loriting  table  and  xiretends  to  smell 


THE  NEW  BOY.  35 

flowers  in  vase.     He  goes  to  sideboard  and  jiretends  to  smell 
flowers  in  vase) 

Roach,  (offn.)  Where  did  you  hear  such  stories  ;  a 
boy  like  you?    Ha,  ha,  ha  ! 

{Enter  Roach  and  Renxick  both  laughing.) 

Rennick.     Isn't  it  a  splitter  ? 

Roach.     I'm  ashamed  of  you.     Ha,  ha,  ha  ! 

Rennick.  Then  she  got  under  the  table  and — ha,  ha,  ha  ! 
(Rennick  andRoxcn  laugh  immoderately  till  the  latter  sees 
Nancy  and  De  Brizac,  and  sto2)S  suddenly) 

Roach.     Ah,  Nancy. 

Nancy.     What's  tlie  joke  ? 

Roach.  Nothing — nothing.  (Nancy  sits  on  chair  by 
vxriting  table  L.) 

Rennick.  It  requires  a  little  careful  adaptation,  (nudg- 
ing Roach  in  the  side)  Eh?  What?  {the  school  bell 
rings) 

Roach.     Don't  do  that  I 

De  B.  There  is  the  bell  for  tea.  (goes  to  D.  L.  c.) 
Come,  young  Bolder. 

Rennick.     Thank  you,  I've  h;id  a  whiskej'  and — 

Roach  (aside  ^o  Rennick)  Sssh — sssh.  Run  away,  boy, 
run  away. 

De  B.     Now,  Bolder. 

Rennick.  (going  up  stage)  Look  here.  I  can't  pos- 
sibly take  tea  like  this,     (feeling  his  waistband) 

De  B.     Come,  come  ;  do  not  be  shy.     /  will  take  you  in. 

Rennick.  I  don't  want  to  be  taken  in,  I  want  to  be  let 
out. 

De  B.     You  must  ask  Doctor  Candy. 

Rennick.     I  told  him.     He  knows  I'm  too  tight. 

De  B.     Come,  sir.  come  !     (exit  d.  l,  c.) 

Rennick.     I'm  coming,     (fo  Roach)     I  saj^  old  man 

Roach.     Well  ? 

Rennick.  Then  she  got  under  the  table  !  (exit  laugh- 
ing, D.  L.  c.) 

Nancy,     You  and  Freddy  seem  to  be  great  friends. 

Roach.     Great  friends  !    You'd  say  so  if  you  knew  ! 

Nancy.     What  ? 

Roach.  Candy  has  left  everything  to  Martha — every- 
thing ! 

Nancy.    Who  says  so  ? 

Roach.  She  does.  He  told  her  so.  That  man  will  come 
to  a  bad  end  ! 

Nancy.     I  suppose  he  can  do  as  he  likes. 

Roach.  People  shouldn't  do  as  they  like,  they  should  do 
as  the}'  ought.     It's  scandalous  ! 

Nancy.     It's  his  own  money. 

Roach.     And  I'm  his  own  cousin  ! 


36  THE  NEW  BOY. 

Nancy.     So  is  Cousin  Martha. 

Roach.     What  has  she  done  for  him  ? 

Nancy.     What  have  you  done  ? 

Roach.     Haven't  I  flattered  him  for  years? 

Nancy.     Yes — I — I  know. 

Roach.  And  he  cahnly  robs  me.  This  is  the  man  who 
goes  to  church  twice  on  Sundays  ! 

Nancy.     Do  you  object  to  that? 

Roach.     I  hate  a  hypocrite. 

Nancy.     But  you  always  go  with  him. 

Roach.  Because  I  thought  he  liked  it.  You  don't  sup- 
pose I  go  for  my  oivn  pleasure  !  And  now  Martha  gets 
everything  !     Martha — hah  !     {sits  on  ottoman,  R.  c.) 

Nancy.     She  seems  a  nice  motherly  person. 

Roach.  She'll  have  to  be  your  mother— one  way  or  the 
other. 

Nancy.     What  do  you  mean  ? 

Roach.  It's  the  only  way  out  of  it.  Either  I  shall  have 
to  marry  her  or  you  will  have  to  marry  Freddy. 

Nancy,     (rising)     I  marry  Freddy  ! 

Roach.     I  should  prefer  it. 

Nancy.     Why,  he  is  only  a  boy  ! 

Roach.  He  won't  be  that  long.  He  told  me  some  stories 
that — He  is  very  well  informed. 

Nancy.     But  he  is  not  fifteen  ! 

Roach.  I  don't  say  you  can  marry  him  to-morrow,  but 
you  can  wait — you  can  wait. 

Nancy.     I  don't  think  I  want  to  wait  for  Freddy. 

Roach.  You  don't  want  to  do  anything  that's  right.  I 
never  get  any  help  from  you. 

Nancy.     It's  so  absurd. 

Roach,  (rising)  Then  you  compel  me  to  take  Martha. 
It  is  always  /who  have  to  be  sacrificed  !  All  my  life  I  have 
lived  on  other  people — I  mean,  for  otlier  people  ;  and  now, 
when  I  want  to  end  my  days  in  peace,  I  have  to  marry 
again  for  your  sake  !     (goes  R.) 

Nancy,  (folloiving  him)  But  I  wish  you  wouldn't  think 
of  me. 

Roach.  You  don't  understand  a  father's  feelings — when 
he  is  short  of  money. 

Nancy.     We  have  everything  we  want. 

Roach.  Everything  we  want !  and  I've  been  drinking 
only  heer  for  the  last  fortnight  ! 

Nancy.     But,  really,  father— 

Roach.  Oh,  I  know.  ]\Iy  unselfishness  is  not  appreciated. 
I  am  always  misunderstood — always  misunderstood,  (exit 
by  ivinclows,  r.) 

Nancy.  It's  horrible !  I  don't  know  what  to  do.  Of 
course  I  couldn't  nuirry  Freddy  for  four  or  five  years,  so  I 
might  be  engaged  to  Theodore  till  then,     But  then  I  told 


THE  NEW  BOY.  37 

Freddy  I  would  be  engaged  to  him  till  Theodore  proposed  I 
It's  most  perplexing  !  1  really  don't  see  how  I  can  possibly 
meet  all  my  engagements  !     {exit  by  ivindoivs  K.) 

(Enter  Rennick,  d.  l.  c.    He  has  his  cap  on.) 

Rennick.  (sits  on  chair  vp  c.)  I  wonder  where  they 
grow  that  remarkable  shrub  wliicli  enters  so  largely  into 
the  manufacture  of  schoolroom  tea  ?  The  unique  flavour 
of  that  singular  decoction  has  carried  me  back  twenty 
years.  Now  I  think  of  it.  perhaps  it  was  cofi'ee  ?  I'm  not 
sure — it  might  have  been  either.  It's  probably  coffee  in 
the  morning  and  tea  in  the  evening.  The  bread  and  but- 
ter too.  Those  dry  and  weighty  blocks  awoke  old  mem- 
ories, (rises)  The  bread  had  seen  better  days  and  the 
butter  was  not  in  the  bloom  of  its  first  youth.  Well  (goes 
R. )  there's  compensation  in  everything,  for  if  the  tea  was 
weak  the  butter  was  strong.  Oh,  that  butter !  I  must 
say  I  should  like  a  little  something  to  act  as  a  corrective. 
I  haven't  had  much  experience  of  poisons,  but  I  should 
fancy  Scotch  whiskey  might  be  a  valuable  antidote  if  I 
could  only  obtain  it.  (looks  round  room)  There's  the 
difficulty.     I  can't  ask  Candy  for  it ;  and 

(Enter  Susan,  d.  l.  c.) 

Susan.     Oh — I  thought  Dr.  Candy  was  here,     (going) 

Rennick,     Here,  one  moment. 

Susan.     What's  the  matter  ? 

Rennick.     I  want  you  a  minute. 

Susan,     (coming  doum  stage)     Want  me  ? 

Rennick.  Would  it  be  possible?  Have  you  access  to 
the  sideboard  ? 

Susan.     The  sideboard  ? 

Rennick.  I  mean — does  your  master  leave  the  spirits 
out? 

Susan.     Not  since  Fve  been  here.      Why  ? 

Rennick.     Well,  I  didn't  know.     Are  you  busy  just  now  ? 

Susan.     Not  particularly. 

Rennick.     Could  you  run  out  for  me  ? 

Susan.    Where  to? 

Rennick.    The  town. 

Susan.    What  for  ? 

Rennick.  (feeling  in  his  pocket)  Look  here.  I  want 
you  to  get  me  a  bottle  of  Scotch  whiskey. 

Susan.     Scotch  whiskey? 

Rennick.     Here's  the  money. 

Susan.  Well,  sometimes  I  does  get  sweets  and  things 
for  the  t'others,  but — whiskey  ?  I 

Rennick.    It's  all  right. 


38  THE  NEW  BOY. 

Susan,     (shaking  him)     You  wicked  little  monkey,  you  t 

Rennick.     (giving  Jier  money)  Get  tlie  best  they've  got. 

Susan.     But  if  master  hears  of  this 

Rennick.    He  won't. 

Susan.     But  what  would  your  Ma  say  ? 

Rennick.  Eli— oh — why— that's  it.  It's  for  her.  Of 
course,  it's  for  Mrs.   Rennick. 

Susan.     Mrs.  Rennick  ? 

Rennick.  I  mean.  Bolder — Mrs.  Bolder.  I  never  can 
remember  names.  She  wanted  me  to  go  for  it  but  I  can't, 
so  I  said  I'd  ask  you. 

Susan.     Oh — I  see.     Does  your  Ma  take  much  whiskey  ? 

Rennick.  She  takes  nothing  else  since  she's  been  a 
widow. 

Susan.     Don't  she  ? 

Rennick.  No.  Mr.  Bolder  always  drank  Scotch,  and 
she  finds  it  keeps  his  memory  green. 

Susan.     Do  slie  want  it  directly  ? 

Rennick.     Yes.     Run  and  fetch  it,  there's  a  good  girl. 

Susan,  (going  vj)  stage)  I'll  put  my  hat  on  and  go  at 
once. 

Rennick.  That's  right.  I'll  be  on  the  look  ovit  for  you 
when  you  come  back. 

Susan.  I  say— when  you  first  asked  me  I  thought  you 
wanted  it  yourself.     Ha.  ha,  lia  ! 

Rennick.  ( pretending  to  laugh)  No — did  you?  Be  as 
quick  as  you  can,  please. 

Susan.  I  teas  surprised.  I  was  just  going  to  say,  there's 
a  wicked  little  toad  !     (exit  laughing,  D.  L.  c. ) 

Rennick.  That's  a  nice  girl.  I  hope  she'll  make  haste. 
(takes  neiospaper  from  ivriting  table  L.  ;  patting  his  chest) 
I  feel  far  from  comfortable,  (sits  on  chair  R.  c.  and 
opens  newspaper)  I  wonder  if  that  boy,  Bullock,  had 
been  experimenting  with  my  tea  ?  He  seemed  very  anx- 
ious to  pass  it  to  me,  and  then  he  sniggered.  I  distrust 
that  snigger,  (looking  at  paper)  What's  this?  (read- 
ing) "The  Dry  Champagne  Company."  H'm.  It  was 
a  bad  day  for  us  when — Hullo  !  (reads)  "  Reorganization 
— new  directorate — brighter  prospects — shares  going  up — 
further  rise — great  demand — "  By  George  I  I  say!  Up- 
on my  life,  this  is — hah  !  (reads  eagerly,  knock  heard  at  D. 
L.  C.)  Why— if  it's  true,  if  it's  all  right,  we  shall  recover 
something  yet.  (knock  repeated)  Come  in.  (engrossed 
in  paper)    Shares  going  up.     Whew  1 

(Enter  Bullock  Major,  d.  l.  c.) 

Bullock.    Hi ! 

Rennick.  (absorbed  inpaper)  I  hope  it's  not  merely  a 
flash  in  the  pan. 


THE  NEW  BOY.  39 

Bullock.    Hi ! 

Rennick.     (ivithout  turning  his  head)  Wha.'^  \,i  it  ? 

Bullock,  Frog  says,  what  the  dickeus  do  you  mean  by 
leaving  the  school-room  ? 

Rennick.     {not attendivg)  Wva.'i 

Bullock,     (louder)  I  say.  Frog  says — 

Rennick.     (absently)  "Who's  Frog? 

Bullock.     Frencliy — De  Brizac.     Are  you  coming  ? 

Rennick.     {absorbed)  Er — no. 

Bullock,  (advancing)  Look  here,  young  feller  !  WhM 
are  you  always  in  this  room  for  ?     Come  out  of  it ! 

Rennick.  Go  away,  boy  !  I'm  busy.  (Rennicf  aOborhed 
in  the  paper,  has  not  once  looked  ai  Bullock.  Bullock 
snatches  off  Rennick's  caji  ;  drops  it  on  floor  una  kicks  it 
away.  Looking  zip  from  paper)  How  dart/  you,  sir ! 
(Bullock  snatches  newspaper  from  Rennick,  yolls  it  tip 
in  a  ball  and  throws  at  him.  It  hits  him  on  the  back  of  the 
head  as  lie  turns  to  look  after  his  cap)  You  impertinent 
cub  !  (Bullock  puts  his  foot  under  the  rung  of  Rennick's 
chair  and  tilts  him  over  on  the  floor.  On  the  floor)  You 
young  scoundrel !  !  I  shall  tell  Dccjtor  Candy  and  have 
you  soundly  flogged  ! 

Bullock.     Say  that  again  ! 

Rennick.     I  shall  report  you  to  Doctor  Candy,  and 

Bullock.  Wliat?  (going  to  Rennick)  You'll  sneak, 
will  you?  (doubles  his  fist  and  stands  over  liini) 

Rennick.     I  shall  certainly  consider  it  my  duty  to 

Bullock.  Get  up  !  D  you  hear  ?  Get  up  !  (Rennick 
rises  to  his  knees,  and  Bullock  seizes  him  by  the  collar  arid 
drags  him  to  his  feet,  pulling  him  to  L.)  Now,  then  !  D'you 
know  what  we  do  with  sneaks? 

Rennick.     No,  sir,  I  do  not. 

Bullock.  Well,  just  you  try  it  on,  and  you'll  jolly  soon 
find  out ! 

Rennick.  Excuse  me.  I  haven't  the  pleasure  of  your 
acquaintance,  and  from  what  I've  seen  of  you  I  have  no 
desire  to  cultivate  it. 

Bullock.     D'you  want  your  head  punched  ? 

Rennick.     Go  away— goaway  !  (goes  to  R.) 

Bullock,  (astonished  at  his  coolness,  and  laughing) 
Have  you  ever  been  to  sciiool  before  ? 

Rennick.     Before  you  were  born. 

Bullock.  None  of  your  cheek  !  or  I'll  lift  you  up  by  the 
ear.  (BuLLOCK  runs  at  Rennick,  ivho  runs  behind  the 
ottoman.  R.c.  They  dodge  backwards  and  forwards  till 
Bullock  catches  Rennick  and  drags  him  doivn  c.)  Come 
here.  Don't  be  a  fool,  I'm  not  going  to  hit  you.  (looking 
him  over)  You're  just  the  size  I  want. 

Rennick.     Am  I  ? 

Bullock.    Yes  ;  you'll  do. 


40  THE  NEW  BOY. 

Rennick.     Indeed  ! 

Bullock.  Look  liere.  There's  an  orchard  on  the  other 
side  of  the  playground. 

Rennick.     Is  there  ? 

Bullock.     It  belongs  to  an  old  beast  called  Stubber. 

Rennick.     Does  it? 

Bullock.  Tliey've  been  shaking  the  trees  this  morning 
and  ti)e  apples  are  lying  about  in  heaps. 

Rennick.     Are  tliey  ? 

Bullock.  You  can't  get  over  the  fence  ;  they'd  see  you. 
But  there's  a  loose  board  you  can  take  out  and  you  can 
squeeze  through  the  hole  ?    Twig  ? 

Rennick.     I  suppose  you  want  nieto  keep  it  dark  ? 

Bullock.  {sarcasUcaUy  and  lauglmig)  Well,  I  suppose 
so. 

Rennick.    All  right.    I  won't  tell,  ((/oes  r.) 

Bullock.     Not  if  you're  caught? 

Rennick.    I — cauglit? 

Bullock.  You  won't  be.  We'll  watch  the  house  when 
you're  tlirough,  and  if  anybody  conies  out  we'll  call, 
"  cave,"  and  give  you  the  tip  to  liook  it. 

Rennick.  Cave?  Hook  it?  {goes  to  Bullock)  Let  us 
understand  each  other,  my  young  friend.  Do  you  propose 
that  /should  squeeze  through  the  hole? 

Bullock.    Of  course. 

Rennick.     And  purloin  the  apples? 

Bullock.     Old  Stubber  won't  miss  them. 

Rennick,  No,  sir.  Old  Stubber  will  not  miss  them  so 
far  as  /am  concerned,  {picks  up  fallen  chair  and  places  it 
to  L.  of  ottoman,  R.c.) 

Bullock,     {threatenimjly)  What? 

Rennick.  {keeping  chair  bctireen  them)  If  you  want  the 
apples  you  must  steal  them  yourself, 

Bullock,     I  can't  get  througli.  yer  fool ;  I'm  too  stout. 

Rennick.  {retreating  iu  r.  behind  ottoman)  Then  j'ou 
had  better  apply  to  one  of  your  schoolfellows. 

Bullock,  {follon-ing  him)  Shan't.  You're  the  new 
boy  and  it's  your  place  to  go, 

Rennick,  {coming  round  ottoman  and  going  quickly  to 
C)  I  distinctly  refuse,  {runs  to  X).  c,  L,  BuLLOCK  rims 
after  him,  catches  him  and  brings  him  dou-n  L,  c.) 

Bullock,  You  sleep  in  my  room,  don't  you?  {seizing 
him  by  the  collar)     All  right,  young  'un — all  right ! 

Rennick.     Leave  go.  sir.  leave  go  ! 

Bullock.  Wait  till  you're  in  bed  to-night.  I've  got  a 
pair  of  leather  braces — with  buckles — bi'ass  buckles! 
{jnishes  him  touiards  u-indoxvs.  R.,  holding  him  by  the  collar 
with  one  hand,  and  tivisting  his  left  arm  behind  his  back 
with  the  other) 

Rennick,    Stop,  sir,  stop  I    You're  hurting  me  ! 


THE  NEW  BOY.  41 

Bullock.  Apples  or  buckles  ?  Take  your  choice. 
Apples  or  buckles  ? 

Rennick.      (gasping)     My  good  fellow 

Bullock.     Wliich  is  it  ? 

Rennick.     Don't — don't! 

Bullock.     Buckles  ? 

Rennick.     {choking)     Apples — it's  apples  ! 

Bullock.     {exuUinglij)     Ah  ! 

Rennick.  {hulf-fttranglcd)  Oh !  (Bullock  rjina  Ren- 
nick qnickltj  off  h[i  windows,  R.  Rennick  expostulating 
and  Bullock  laughing  loudlij.  Enter  Mrs.  Rennick  and 
Doctor  Candy,  d.  l.  c.     She  has  needlework  in  her  hand.) 

Mrs.  R.  But,  really,  my  dear  Hoiace,  I  am  sure  Felix 
was  only  joking. 

Candy.  No,  no.  When  I  came  in  and  found  you  sitting 
there  together  {pointing  to  coueh  L.)  he  was  on  the 
point  of  making  you  a  inoposal. 

Mrs.  R.     He  wasn't  sei'ious. 

Candy.  He  asked  you  to  give  him  one  word  of  hope.  I 
heard  him. 

Mrs.  R.     Yes,  but — {sits  on  ottoman,  r.  c.) 

Candy.  Beware  of  Felix.  Where  he"s  known  he's  not 
liked,  and  where  he  is  liked  he's  not  known.  While  I 
think  of  it — let  me  warn  you  against  taking  his  advice 
with  regard  to  investing  any  little  money  you  may  have 
lying  idle.  He  is  very  ready  with  his  counsel  m  these 
matters. 

Mrs.  R.     I  have  nothing  to  invest — now. 

Candy.  Ah,  well,  I  merely  warn  you.  I  was  foolish 
enough  to  be  guided  by  him  on  one  occasion.  Fm  not  a 
man  of  business — I  never  was — and  he  i)ersuaded  me  to 
take  some  shares  in  a  company  wliich  turned  out  very 
badly.  In  fact,  it  cost  me  a  good  round  sum  and  more 
than  I  could  afford  to  lose.  No.  no.  Martha  ;  beware  of 
Felix. 

JIrs.  R.  I  am  sorry  to  hear  you  say  this.  I  found  him 
so  very  friendly  and  sympathetic.  He  seemed  to  enjoy 
talking  of  old  times. 

Candy.  They  were  not  his  old  times,  they  were  my  old 
times  {tenderly)  our  old  times.  I  will  not  have  Felix 
poaching  on  our  property.  He  has  nothing  whatever  to  do 
witli  the  past  ;  It  belongs  exclusively  to  us. 

Mrs.  R.  (nervously)  Ye— yes.  (aside)  I  wish  some 
one  would  come ! 

Candy.  It  was  such  a  little  thing  that  came  between  us 
then — such  a  very  little  tiling. 

Mrs.  R.  (aside)  Little  thing  ?  My  poor  dear  husband 
was  six  feet  two  ! 

Candy.     We  w^ere  veiy  foolish. 

Mrs.  R.    Yes,  very. 


42  THE  NEW  BOY. 

Candy.  But  we  are  older  now — and  wiser.  If — if  a 
chance  of  happiness  came  in  our  way  we  should  be  more 
reluctant  to  let  it  go — should  we  not  ?  {sits  on  chair  L.  of 
couch ) 

Mrs.  R.  Well — I  suppose — (aside)  Where  in  the  world 
is  Archibald  ? 

Candy.     Martha — it    is  not  too  late.     You  are  still  in 

your  prime,  and  I 

•   Mrs.  R.     I  can't  think  where  Arch — Freddy  is  ! 

Candy.  Never  mind  Freddy  now.  Martha  ;  why  should 
we  not  pick  up  the  thread  of  our  happiness  where  we  broke 
it  off  ?  Let  us  take  the  sundered  ends  and  join  them  with 
a  true  lover's  knot. 

Mrs.  R.     I — I  have — to  consider  Freddj\ 

Candy,     (rising)    What  has  he  to  do  with  it  ? 

Mrs.  R.     More  than  you  imagine. 

Candy.     I  will  be  a  second  father  to  him. 

Mrs.  R.     I — I  really  don't  think  he  would  like  it. 

Candy.     Not  like  it ! 

Mrs.  R.     I  am  sure  he  would  object. 

Candy.  Martha — my  dear  Martha — do  not — pray  do  not 
let  the  boy  be  an  obstacle  in  our  path.  I  know  that 
children  frequently  dislike  their  parents  marrying  again, 
but  he  would  soon  get  used  to  it.  {sits  on  chair  L.  of 
couch) 

Mrs.  R.     I'm  afraid  he  wouldn't. 

{Enter  Susan,  d.  l.  c.  withher  hat  on  and  carrying  a 
bottle  wrapped  in  a  paper.    Slie  is  unobserved.) 

Candy.  He  would  be  just  the  same  to  you  as  before.  I 
will  assure  him  that  it  will  make  no  difference  to  him 
whatever.     Martha — I  am  waiting  for  your  answer. 

Susan,  {coming  behind  them,  taking  paper  off  bottle) 
Please,  ma'am,  I've  brouglit  it.  {holds  bottle  close  to  Mrs. 
Rennick.   Candy  and  Mrs.  Rennick   start  and  turn  in 

Mrs.  R.     (fo  Susan)     What  is  that? 

Susan.     The  whiskey,  ma'am. 

Candy.    Whiskey  ? 

Susan.    Yes,  sii- — what  Mrs.  Bolder  sent  me  for. 

Mrs.  R.     I  sent  you  for  ! 

Susan.  Yes.  ma'am.  Leastways,  the  5'oung  gentleman 
said  I  was  to  get  it  for  you. 

Candy,     {rising)  What  young  gentleman  ? 

Susan.     Master  Bolder,  sir. 

Mrs.  R.  {rising)  Master  Bolder  told  you  that  I — 
{nervously)  There  must  be  some  mistake,  {looking  at 
bottle)   Tins  is— Scotch  wliiskey. 

Susan.     He  said  you  wanted  Scotch,  ma'am. 


THE  NEW  BOY.  43 

{Enter  Rennick  by  tcindotvs,  R.) 

Candy.  This  is  more  than  I  can  swallow,  {to  Rennick) 
Ah,  come  here,  sir.  Perhaps  you  will  be  good  enough  to 
explain. 

Rennick.     {he  has  not  noticed  the  bottle)  Explain  ? 

Candy,     {pointing  to  bottle)     Wliatisthis? 

Rennick.  Eh— oh— well,  it  looks  like  a  bottle,  {aside) 
That  idiot  Susan  !  (Susan  puts  bottle  on  sideboard  at 
back) 

Mrs.  R.  {nervously)  There  must  be  a  little  confusion 
somewhere. 

Candy,  {severely)  Answer  me,  Susan.  Did  he  or  did 
lie  not  send  you  for  that  wliiskey  ? 

Susan,     {getting  frightened)     Yes.  sir. 

Rennick.     {with  iweiended  astonishment)     Oh! 

Candy,  {to  Susan)  And  told  you  it  was  for  Mrs. 
Bolder  ? 

Susan.     Yes.  sir. 

Rennick.     Oh,  what  a  wicked  story  ! 

Candy.     You  deny  it? 

Rennick.  Most  emphatically  !  (signals  to  Svsa^  to  hold 
her  tongue.  Candy  goes  to  fireplace  L. ,  and  takes  cane  from 
corner  by  mantelshelf) 

Susan.  Well,  I  never  !  (to  Rennick)  Oh,  ifs  no  use 
your  making  faces  at  me. 

Mrs.  R.     Freddy,  dear  ! 

Susan,  {to  Rennick)  You  sent  me  for  it,  you  know  you 
did,  {half  crying)  I  ain't  going  to  get  myself  into  trouble 
for  you,  and  so  I  tell  you  ! 

Rennick.  {crossing  to  c.)  If  the  prevarications  of  a 
maid-servant  are  to  be  accepted  before  the  word  of  a 
gentleman,  all  I  can  say  is 

Candy,  {flourishing  the  cane)  Silence,  sir !  !  (Mrs. 
Rennick  screams.  Rennick  starts  on  seeing  the  cane,  backs 
to  window,  R.,  turns  and  runs  off  quickly) 

Mrs.  R.     {very  nervously)     Horace  ;  I    feel    quite  sure 

that 

Candy.  Martha,  were  I  to  pass  this  over,  all  disci- 
pline would  be  at  an  end  !  Susan,  go  and  fetch  Master 
Bolder.     Bring  him  here  at  once. 

Susan,  {going,  r.)  Yes,  sir.  {aside)  And  serve  him 
right,  the  little  imp.  I  hope  he'll  get  what  for  !  {exit  by 
tvindouis.  R.) 

Mrs.  R.  {going  to  Ca^dy)  Horace,  he  is  very  delicate  ; 
he  has  no  stamina  ;  his  digestion  is  weak,  and  he  is  accus- 
tomed to  take  a  little  whiskey. 

Candy.  It's  not  so  much  the  whiskey  as  the  falsehood 
—the  unblushing  falsehood  which  I  cannot  and  will  not 
excuse. 


44  THE  NEW  BOY 

Mrs.  R.     But  for  this  once,  let  me  entreat  you 

(Enter  Stubber,  d.  l.  c.     He   bursts  in.  boiling  over  with 
rage.     He  carries  a  stick. ) 

Stubber.  I  don't  know  where  your  servants  are  !  I 
couldn't  make  anyone  hear  !  Nobody  answers  the  con- 
founded bell !  It's  abominable,  atrocious  ;  your  school  is  a 
disgrace  to  the  neighborhood,  sir  ! 

Candy.     Mr.  Stubber ! 

Stubber.  If  you've  no  control  over  those  young  brats  of 
yours,  you've  no  business  to  keep  a  school  at  all. 

Candy.     Mr.  Stubber  !     May  I  inquire 

Stubber.  Apples,  sir,  apples.  One  of  those  young  de- 
mons has  been  stealing  my  ap])les  !  I  all  but  caught  liim, 
but  he  was  too  quick  for  me.  (flourislting  his  stick)  How- 
ever, as  he  was  slipping  throngli  the  fence  I  managed  to 
give  him  one  that  he'll  remember  ! 

Candy.     Mr.  Stubber  ;  I  am  surprised  ! 

Stubber.    So  was  he.     /made  him  sg?(ea7c.' 

Candy.     You  will  leave  this  in  my  hands. 

(Enter  Rennick  by  unndows,  r.  ,  followed  by  Susan  who 

pushes  him  on.) 

Stubber.  No,  I'll  be  hanged  if  I  do  !  I'm  going  to  stop 
this  kind  of  tiling  once  for  all,  and  I  tell  you  plainly — (sees 
Rennick)    Ah  !     Tliere  lie  is  !  !     That's  the  boy  !  !  ! 

Candy,     (looking  at  Rennick)     What  ?  ! 

Mrs.    R.     Freddy  ! !  ! 

Rennick.     (aside)    Stubber ! 

Stubber.  (fo  Rennick)  Ah,  ha!  You  thought  you'd 
get  off,  you  thieving  young  rascal !  (adi^ancing  and  shak- 
ing liis  stick)  You'll  find  those  apples  of  mine  are  the 
sourest  you  ever  put  your  teeth  into  ! ! 

Mrs.  R.    (frightened)    Horace  ;  you  will  not  allow 

Candy.     (<o  Stubber)     Quietly,  sir  ;  quietly,  I  beg. 

Rennick.  (crossing  to  c.)  It  seems  to  me  there  is  a 
great  deal  of  unnecessary  excitement.  I  think  if  we  take 
an  unprejudiced  view  of  the  matter 

Candy,     (^o  Rennick)     Silence,  sir  ! 

Mrs.  R.  (aside  to  Rennick)  My  love,  my  dearest,  what 
induced  you  ? 

Rennick.     (aside  to  Mrs.  R.  )     I  couldn't  help  myself. 

Mrs.  R.     (aside  to  Rennick)    But  you  did  help  yourself. 

Rennick.  (to  Stubber)  If,  as  I  presume,  Mr.  Stubber 
requires  pecuniary  compensation — (feeling  in  his  pocket) 
How  much  are  these  apples  ?    Six  a  penny  ? 

Stubber.     (angrily)     Tchah ! 

Mrs.  R.  Yes,  yes  ;  of  course.  If  Mr.  Stubber  will 
kindly  name  the  amount  of  his  loss,  we  shall  be  only  too 
happy 


THE  NEW  BOY,  45 

Stubber.     No  !     Compensation  won't  do  for  me  ! 

Candy.  Nor  can  I  agree  to  it.  Tlie  boy  is  bringing  dis- 
grace on  the  scliool  in  every  way  and  I  must  make  a  public 
example  of  him  ! 

Mrs.  R.     Horace  !  ! 

Stubber.  Example  be  lianged !  (Roach  and  Nancy 
appear  at  icindows.  R.) 

Candy.  (  indignantly,  to  Stubber)  Then,  what  is  it 
you  want? 

Stubber.  {flaring  up)  Justice  ;  and  I'm  going  to  have 
it.     I  sliall  give  the  boy  in  charge  !     {goes  up  to  door,  L.  c.) 

Rennick.     In  charge  ! 

Mrs.  R.     In  charge  ! 

Roach.     Wlmt's  up  ?  ! 

Rennick.  (excitedly)  The  game's  up.  It's  no  use  ;  I'm 
not  a  child  ;  you  don't  know  who  I  am  ;  I'm 

Mrs.  R.  {aside  to  REysiCK.  in  great  agitation)  No,  no, 
Archibald.  We  sliall  be  beggars — hush — not  a  word — for 
my  sake  !  ! 

Stubber.  {flinging  open  door,  L.  c.  and  calling  out)  "  Con- 
stable !  " 

Policeman,  {oidside)  Here,  sir.  (Policeman  appears 
in  doortvay) 

Rennick.  {collapsing)  JIartha  !  ! !  (gets  behind  Mrs. 
Rennick  and  peeps  round  her  at  the  Policeman.  Stubber 
points  to  Rennick.     Consternation  of  the  others) 

Act  Drop— Quick. 

(Second  Picture.  The  Policeman  is  holding  Rennick 
by  the  arm  and  leading  Jiini  off  through  thedoorivay.  Mrs. 
Rennick  has  sunk  down  on  the  ottoman  R.  c.  She  is  in  de- 
spair) 


ACT  III. 
{TJie  next  morning.) 

(Scene. — The  same  as  Acts  I.  and  11.     Enter  Nancy  by 

zvindotvs  R.) 

Nancy.  Poor  dear  Freddy  !  I'm  sure  I  have  hardly 
slept  a  wink  all  night  thinking  of  that  poor  boy  in  tlie 
police-station.  That  hateful  Mr.  Stubber  and  his  horrid 
apples  !     Surly,  ugly  old  wretch  ! 

(Enter  De  Brizac  quickly  D.  L.  c.) 

De  B.     I  saw  you  come  in  from  the  school-room  window. 


46  THE  NEW  BOY. 

I  take  my  chance,  but  I  have  not  a  minute,     {taking  her 
hands)     Ah,  my  beautiful ! 

Nancy.     Oh  Theodore,  isn't  it  awful  ?  ! 

De  B.     What  is  that? 

Nancy.     Poor  Freddy. 

De  B.  Ah,  horrible  !  A  disgrace  to  the  school.  What 
a  come  up  ! 

Nancy,     {correcting  him)     Down. 

De  B.  Come  down.  Your  ups  and  your  downs  they 
confuse  me. 

Nancy.     Oh  why  did  Dr.  Candy  permit  it  ? 

De  B.  He  could  not  help  it.  Mr.  Stubber  gave  Freddy 
in  charge  and  the  policeman  took  him  down. 

Nancy.    Up. 

DeB.     Up.  .      , 

Nancy.  What  a  night  he  must  have  spent  m  the  cell ! 
{turns  up  to  ottoman,  R.  c.) 

De  B.     In  tlie  what  ? 

Nancy.     The  police  cell. 

De  B.     Oh  no  !  he  sleep  here. 

Nancy.    Here?     {sits  on  ottoman,  ^.  c.) 

DeB.  {goes  to  chair  i,.  of  ottoman  and  stands  leaning 
over  the  back)  Yes.  He  was— what  do  you  call  it  ?— ad- 
mitted to  bail.  Tliey  let  him  find  a  surety— money,  you 
know,  and  Dr.  Candy  came  up  with  it. 

Nancy.     Down. 

De  B.     Down  with  it. 

Nancy.  Oh,  I'm  .so  glad.  All  night  long  I've  been 
picturing  him  chained  to  a  plank  bed  in  a  cold  cell  with 
spiders  and  things ! 

De  B.  But  what  a  tender  heart  you  have.  You  lay 
awake  all  night  ?  {getting  a  little  nearer  ottoman,  behind 
chair) 

Nancy.     Very  nearly. 

De  B.     You  must  be  knocked  down. 

Nancy.     Up. 

De  B.  Up.  (bending  over  her  tenderly)  And  durmg 
all  those  long  hours  did  you  think  of  no  one  but— young 
Bolder  ? 

Nancy,  {looking  doivn  shyly  and  turning  her  head  to 
R.)     I — I  don't  know. 

DeB.  {coming  slowly  round  back  of  ottoman  to  R.) 
Was  there  not  one  thought— one  little  thought  for  someone 
else? 

Nancy,     {looking  doivn  in  her  lap)     Perhaps. 

De  B.     You  are  not  sure  ? 

Nancy.     Well— {turns  her  head  to  L.)— I  think  I  am. 

De  B.     {sitting  beside  her  on  ottoman)     But  you  do  not 
say  yes. 
Nancy.     Girls  should  never  say  yes. 


THE  NEW  BOY.  47 

De  B.     Why  ? 

Nancy.     Because  they  should  always  say  no. 

De  B.  If  I  taky  your  hand — {taking  her  hand) — You 
will  say  no?  If  I  place  my  arm  so— (putting  his  arm 
round  her  icaist) — you  will  saj'  no  ?  If  I  were  to  ask  you 
for  one  little  kiss — you  would  say  no  ? 

Nancy.  Of  course  it  would  be  only  right  for  me  to  say 
— no. 

De  B.  Ah !  When  you  say  it  like  that,  I  do  not  care 
what  you  say  !     (about  to  kiss  her) 

{Enter  Mrs.  Rennick  d.  l.  c.     Nancy  and  De  B.  jtimp  up.) 

Nancy,  {going  to  Mrs.  R.)  Good  morning,  Cousin 
Martha. 

Mrs.  R.     Ah  !     Good  morning,  dear,     {they  kiss) 

De  B.  (aside)  They  kiss — and  before  m}^  eyes — it  is 
maddening,     (turns  up  stage  R.) 

Nancy.  I  am  so  very  glad  to  hear  poor  Freddy  wasn't 
kept  at  the  police  station  last  night. 

Mrs.  R.     Oh,  my  dear.  I  was  so  thankful  too. 

Nancy.     Perhaps  it  will  all  blow  over. 

Mrs.  R.  My  child,  he  has  to  appear  before  the  magis- 
trate at  eleven  o'clock  ! 

De  B.  (going  to  d.  l.  c.)  Eleven  o'clock?  It  is  ten, 
now. 

Mrs.  R.  Mr.  de  Brizac  if  you  see  my  bus — son,  will  you 
kindlv  tell  him  I  am  here  ? 

De  B.     I  will  find  him. 

Mrs.  R.     Thank  you  so  much. 

De  B.  I  will  go  at  once  and  look  him  down — up— down 
— up.     My  gracious  !  what  a  language  !  !  !     (exit  D.  L.  c.) 

Mrs.  R.  Doctor  Candy  is  dreadfully  angry.  He  says 
such  a  thing  has  never  happened  before  in  the  school,  and 
that  Freddy  must  take  the  consequences.  He  declares  he 
won't  go  to  the  court  to  say  a  word  in  his  favor. 

Nancy.     Then  father  will  go  ;  I  am  sure  he  will. 

Mrs.   R.     Oh,  if  he  only  would  ! 

Nancy.  Of  course  he  will,  (going  u.)  I'll  go  and  find 
him  at  once. 

Mrs.  R.  It  would  be  most  kind  of  him.  I  can't  tell  you 
how  grateful  I  should  be. 

Nancy.  Don't  be  down-hearted,  Cousin  Martha.  Father 
knows  all  about  the  law.  He  has  had  a  good  deal  to  do 
with  it.     (exit  quickly  by  windous  R.) 

Mrs.  R.  (very  restless  and  anxious)  It  will  be  a  great 
relief  if  Felix  will  go  to  the  court.  I  could  never  screw  up 
my  courage  to  go  myself.  My  feelings  would  get  the 
better  of  me  ;  I  couldn't  keep  silent  if  I  were  to  see  poor 
darling  Archibald  in  the  prisoner's  dock. 


48  THE  NEW  BOY. 

{Enter  Rennick  d.  l.  c.  He  is  wearing  an  Eton  jacket  and 
trousers.  He  looks  pale  and  haggard,  and  is  terribly 
dejected. ) 

Rennick.    Martlia. 

Mrs.  R.     Archibald!     (goes  quickly  to  him) 

Rennick.  {coining  down  c.)  They  told  me  you  were 
here. 

Mrs.  R.  {clasping  him  in  her  arms)  My  dearest,  my 
darling,  inj^  little,  little  love  ! 

Rennick.  Your  little  love  has  gone  along  way,  Martha. 
It  has  carried  me  into  the  pit  of  Tophet.  Oh,  how  I  have 
suffered  ! 

Mrs.  R.     My  own  !     How  pale  you  look  ! 

Rennick.  Pale,  Martha?  Yes,  my  face  is  pale  ;  but  tlie 
rest  of  me — the  rest  of  me  is  black  and  blue  !  {sinks  down 
on  couch  L.) 

JIrs.  R.     Was  tlie  bed  so  hard  ! 

Rennick.  My  connection  with  the  bed  was  only  momen- 
tary.    We  parted  at  an  early  hour. 

Mrs.  R.     Have  yon  been  up  long? 

Rennick.     About  six  weeks.  I  think. 

Mrs.  R.     {going  to  him)     Dearest !  You  couldn't  sleep  ? 

Rennick.  Sleep  ?  I  have  passed  an  awful  night  with 
Bullock  Major  ! 

Mrs.  R.     Oil!     {takes  Ins  hand  in  both  of  hers) 

Rennick.  There  wei-e  five  boys  in  the  dormitory,  exclu- 
sive of  Bnllock,  who  was  master  of  the  ceremouies  and  led 
all  the  games. 

Mrs.  R.     Games? 

Rennick.  They  were  original  and  varied ;  and  are, 
I  believe,  coUectivel}'  entitled,  "The  New  Boy  at 
Candy's." 

Mrs.  R.     Oh,  how  conld  thej"  dare 

Rennick.  I  put  that  question  to  them  more  than  once, 
but  received  ambiguous,  not  to  say  unfavourable,  replies. 
{rises  and  crosses  r.) 

]\1rs.  R.     And  they  made  you  play  ? 

Rennick.     Tliey  did.     We  began  with  a  rat  hunt. 

Mrs.  R.  What  horrid  little  wretches  !  They  keep  rats 
in  their  bedroom  ? 

Rennick.  No.  no.  I  was  the  rat.  I  had  to  crawl  along 
under  the  beds  while  they  chivied  me  with  boots.  If  they 
failed  to  hit  me  ten  times  in  two  minutes  it  was  my  game. 
They  alwa)'s  won. 

Mrs.  R.     How  liorril)le! 

Rennick.  Oh.  the  rat  was  comparatively  tame.  The 
most  unpleasant  diversion  was  the  tug  of  war. 

Mrs.  li.  Oh,  I  know.  Pulling  against  each  other  with 
a  rope. 


A 


THE  NEW  BOY.  49 

Eennick.     a  rope  ?    They  had  no  rope,  so  they  used  me  ! 

Mrs.  R.    You!! 

Rennick.  It  was  a  miracle  I  didn't  come  in  half.  I  am 
sure,  this  morning,  I  am  at  least  two  inches  longer. 

Mrs.   R.     Oh,  my  poor  suffering  darling. 

Rennick.  Bullock  Major  was  born  too  late.  With  tliat 
boy's  inventive  genius  for  devising  tortiu'es  he  would  have 
been  invaluable  in  the  middle  ages,     (sits  on  Ottoman  R.  c.) 

Mrs.  R.     But  why  didn't  you  resist  ? 

Rennick.  ]\I}-  dear,  they  were  six  to  one,  and  Bullock 
Major  counts  two. 

Mrs.  R.     If  )'ou  had  only  called  f)Ut. 

Rennick.  You  can"t  call  out  with  a  sponge  in  your 
mouth.  It  was  a  fatal  mistake  our  appl3'ing  for  bail.  It 
would  have  been  far  better  for  me  to  have  remained  in 
peaceful  solitude  in  tlie  police  cell. 

Mrs.  R.  (going  to  him  and  throwing  her  arms  round 
Mm)     My  own  noble  love  !  ! 

Rennick.  (rising  and  disengaging  himself)  Take  cai'e, 
Martha  ;  please  take  care  !  I  am  not  in  a  condition  to  be 
cuddled  ! 

Mrs.  R.  Tliat  you  should  have  suffered  like  this,  and 
borne  it  in  silence  ! 

Rennick.  For  your  sake,  Martha ;  all  for  your  sake. 
More  til  an  once  I  was  on  tlie  point  of  telling  them  who  I 
was,  but  I  thought  of  you  in  the  workhouse  and  that  gave 
me  strength. 

Mrs.  R.  3Iy  hero  !  (aboid  to  throw  her  arms  round 
him.     He  shrinks  from  Jier) 

Rennick.  Personally  I  should  not  object  to  the  Union. 
At  an}^  rate  the  treatment  would  be  less  severe,  (feeling 
his  back)  and  the  lumps  would  be  confined  to  the  skilly. 

Mrs.  R.  (wijiing  Jier  eyes)  Archibald  ;  I  have  been  a 
weak,  selfish  woman.  If  it  will  conduce  to  your  happiness, 
let  us  go  to  the  workliouse. 

Rennick.  You  forget.  By  tlie  considerate  rules  of  that 
charitable  establishment  husbands  and  wives  are  separated. 

Mrs.  R.     Separated  ! 

Rennick.    Could  you  bear  that  ? 

Mrs.  R.         would  kill  me. 

Rennick.     *  li ! 

Mrs.  R.     a   diibald  ! 

Rennick.  IVHrtha  !  (they  fall  into  each  other's  arms 
and  sob) 

Mrs.  R.     We  >  ill  never — never — separate. 

Rennick.     Ne-  never. 

Mrs.  R.  My  flo^  •  ^r — my  little  blossom — j-ou  would  droop 
and  fade — without  :n}'  care  ! 

Rennick.  I  should  wither  on  the  stalk,  (she  dries  her 
eyes  and  his  with  her  handkerchief)     Come,  Martha,  come 

4 


50  THE  NEW  BOY. 

• — be  brave.  I  have  still  much  before  me,  and  you  must 
keep  my  spirits  up.  I  shall  have  to  start  in  lialf  an  liour. 
I  mustn't  keep  the  magistrate  waiting.  Magistrates  are 
so  very  touchy,     {turns  up  c.) 

(Enter  Roach  and  Nancy  by  ivindows  r.) 

Roach.  I\Iy  dear  Martha  ;  of  course.  I  will  go  to  the 
court  with  pleasure.  Leave  it  to  me.  I'll  speak  for  him 
and  we'll  pull  him  through. 

Mrs.  R.     I  know  you  will  do  your  best. 

Roach.  Knowing  how  distressed  you  were,  I  called 
upon  Mr.  Stubber  tliis  morning  and  appealed  to  his  feel- 
ings. 

Mrs.  R.     Oh,  what  did  he  say  ? 

Roach.  Very  little.  I  said.  "  Mr.  Stubber  ;  you  have  a 
kind  heart."  He  replied,  "You're  a  liar."  After  that 
there  was  notliing  more  to  be  said. 

Mrs.  R.  Tlien  there  is  no  hope  !  {sinks  into  chair  up  c, 
Nancy  goes  to  her) 

Roach.  Not  from  that  quarter.  But  never  mind.  They 
won't  hang  Freddy  this  time.     Ha.  ha  ! 

Rennick.  {gloomily  echoing  tJie  laugh)  Ha,  ha!  (sits 
on  couch  L.  having  crossed  at  back) 

Roach.  Penal  servitude  for  life  is  the  worst  that  can 
happen  to  him. 

Rennick.     Do  you  think  they'll  let  me  off  with  a  fine  ? 

Roach.  To  be  sure.  Half-a-crown  and  costs — some- 
thing of  that  kind. 

Nancy.     Tliey  won't  imprison  him,  will  they? 

Roach.     Ha,  ha  !     They  might  give  him  three  days. 

Rennick.  {aside)  Even  that  would  be  preferable  to 
passing  another  night  with  Bullock  Major. 

Roach.  A  few  apples  !  What  is  it  ?  Nothing.  What 
boy  hasn't  robbed  an  orchard  ?  I  know  /have,  and  I  sup- 
pose no  one  would  presume  to  call  me  a  thief  ? 

Rennick.     {aside)     I  don't  know  so  much  about  that 

{Enter  Susan,  d.  l.  c.) 

Susan,  {to  Mrs.  R.)  If  you  please,  ma'am.  Doctor 
Candy  would  like  to  speak  with  you  in  the  study. 

Roach,     {aside)     The  deuce  he  would. 

Mrs.  R.  {7-ising,  to  Susan)  Does  he  want  Master 
Freddy  ? 

Rennick.  {rising  quickly)  Why  raise  such  a  question  ? 
{goes  down  L. ) 

Susan.  No,  ma'am.  (Rennick  drops  into  chair,  leans 
Ms  elbows  on  the  writing  table,  and  buries  his  face  in  his 
hands) 

Roach,     (aside)     Of  course  not 


THE  NEW  BOY,  51 

Mrs.  R.     I  will  come,     (going  to  d.  l.  c.) 

Roach,  {to  Mrs.  R.)  And  I  too,  if  you'll  permit  me  ? 
It  will  be  better  for  you  not  to  see  him  alone — much  better. 
{exeunt  Mrs.  Rennick  and  Roach  d.  l.  c,  folloived  by 
Susan) 

Nancy,  {going  to  him)  Oh,  Freddy,  Freddy;  I  knew 
you  were  a  naughty  boy,  but  I  didn't  think  you  were  as 
wicked  as  this,  {pause ;  she  looks  at  loindow  and  door, 
then  puts  her  hand  on  his  shoulder,  loheedling  him)  Got 
any  of  the  apples  ? 

Rennick.     {zvithout  raising  his  head)     No,  I  have  not. 

Nancy.  Greedy  thing,  {going  to  c.)  You  might  have 
saved  me  some. 

Rennick.  {raising  his  head)  You  shock  me  very 
much. 

Nancy.  You  don't  love  me  a  bit.  When  Bullock  Major 
has  collared  some  tuck  he  doesn't  forget  me. 

Rennick.  {sitting  upright)  I  don't  pj-etend  to  emulate 
Master  Bullock's  accomplishments  as  to  collaring  tuck  or 
anything  else.  He  is  a  lad  with  whom  I  have  no  sympathy 
whatever. 

Nancy.     Oh  !     Oh,  how  exclusive  we  are  ! 

Rennick.  And  I  don't  think  he  is  at  all  a  desirable  com- 
panion for  a  child  of  your  age. 

Nancy.     Child  !     And  pray,  what  are  you  ? 

Rennick.  (rises)  Old  enough  to  be  your  father  ;  and  if 
I  were  your  father 

Nancy,  (laughing)  "Why,  you  silly  little  goose,  you're 
jealous.  Yes,  you  are  ;  jou're  jealous  of  Bullock  Major  ! 
Oh,  you  little  duck  ;  yovi  don't  know  how  funny  you  look  ! 

Rennick.  Thank  you  ;  I  am  as  fully  sensible  of  the 
absurdity  of  my  present  appearance  as  you  can  possibly  be. 

Nancy.  There,  there,  there,  (putting  her  arm  around 
his  neck)  Did  'um  tease  'uni  then  ?  Poor  father  Freddy. 
Don't  cry  ;  there's  a  dear  little  father,  and  she'll  give  him 
a  kiss. 

Rennick.  (disengaging  himself)  My  dear  child,  you 
mustn't,  you  really  mustn't.  I  can't  permit  it.  (turns  up 
stage) 

Nancy.     Oh  !     Oh,  there's  a  naughty  temper. 

(Bullock  looks  in  at  tvindotv,  R.) 

Bullock.  Hi !  Here — you  feller  !  (ivhistles  to  attract 
attention) 

Nancy,  (to  Bullock)  Oh,  it's  you,  is  it?  You  can 
come  in.     There's  nobody  here.     (goesL.) 

Bullock,     (entering)     Where's  old  Candy  ? 

Rennick.  (heis  very  cold  and  distant  tcith  Bullock) 
You  will  find  Doctor  Candy  in  his  study. 


52  THE  NEW  BOY. 

Bullock.  I  don't  want  hivi,  I  want  yoii.  Look  here  ; 
what  are  you  going  to  say  ? 

Rennick.     I  have  notliing  to  say  to  j'ou. 

Bullock.  I  don't  mean  me,  yer  fool ;  I  mean,  what  are 
you  going  to  say  to  the  Magistrate  ? 

Rennick.     That  is  7ny  affair. 

Bullock.     No,  it  isn't :  it's  mine. 

Nancy.     Now,  be  good  boys  and  don't  quarrel. 

Bullock,     (to  Rennick)"    Are  you  going  to  split  ? 

Rennick.     I  beg  your  pardon  ? 

Bullock.     Are  you  going  to  be  a  sneak  ? 

Rennick.  If  you  mean,  am  I  going  to  explain  matters 
to  the  Magistrate,  I  beg  to  inform  you  that  that  is  my  in- 
tention. 

Bullock.  Oh,  there's  a  beast!  {coming  doum  r.  c.) 
There's  a  low,  crawling  beast! 

Nancy,  (going  a  few  paces  totvard  Bullock)  No,  he 
isn't ! 

Bullock.     Tliere's  a  cowardly  funk  ! 

Nancy,     (going  nearer  Bullock)     You're  another. 

Bullock,     (going  to  I^a^cy)     Don't  7/om  interfere ! 

Nancy.     Then  give  me  back  my  letters. 

Bullock.    I  don't  want  your  stupid  letters. 

Nancy.     Yes,  you  do. 

Bullock.     No,  I  don't. 

Nancy.     You  do. 

Bullock.    I  don't. 

Nancy,  (half  crying)  You're  a  horrid  common  boy, 
and  I  hate  you  ! 

Bullock.     I  wouldn't  be  a  girl. 

Nancy.    No,  you're  too  ugly. 

Rennick.  (coming  between  them)  These  personal  re- 
criminations are  most  distressing  and  I  really  think 

Bullock.  Shut  up  !  (pulls  Rennick  by  his  right  arm) 
Come  liere  ! 

Nancy,     (pulling  Rennick  by  his  left  arm)     No,  don't ! 

Bullock,     (pulling  Rennick)     Come  here,  I  say  ! 

Nancy.  (pidlingRE^mcK)  He  shan't!  (they  are  pull- 
ing him  opxMsite  loays) 

Rennick.     This  is  exceedingly  painful. 

Bullock.     I'm  only  going  to  talk  to  you. 

Nancy,     (releasing  Rennick)    Then  do  it  gently. 

Bullock,  (releasing  Rennick)  I  wouldn't  have  a  girl 
take  my  part. 

Nancy.     You  wouldn't  find  one. 

Bullock,     (shooting  out  his  underlip  at  her)     Ooh  ! 

Nancy,     (imitating  him)    Ooh ! 

Rennick.  (stamping  his  foot)  Children,  children,  for 
goodness'  sake  restrain  these  violent  ebullitions.  (Nancy 
turns  up  stage) 


*i 


THE  NEW  BOY.  53 

Bullock.  (toRENNiCK)  Who  are  you  calling  children  ? 
You'll  get  yer  head  punched  presently  I  Now,  look  here. 
What  do  you  want? 

Rennick.     I  don't  understand  you. 

Bullock.     Yes,  you  do.    You  want  to  be  squared. 

Rennick.    Squared  ! 

Bullock,  {taking  a  knife  from  his  pocket)  Here's  a 
knife  with  three  blades  and  a  corkscrew.  Hold  your  tongue 
and  it's  yours. 

Rennick.     No,  thank  you. 

Bullock.  What !  Well,  look  here,  what  do  you  say  to 
my  white  mice  ? 

Rennick.     I  liave  nothing  to  say  to  your  white  mice. 

Bullock.     They're  as  lively  as  fleas. 

Rennick.  And,  as  far  as  I  am  concerned,  equally  un- 
desirable. 

Bullock.  Come  then.  You  shall  have  my  guinea-pig, 
and  I'll  chuck  you  in  tlie  hutch. 

Rennick.  No,  sir  ;  you  will  not  chuck  me  in  the  hutch. 
{turns  aivay  from  him  to  L.) 

Bullock,  {going  r.)  Well,  I  have  nothing  else  for 
you. 

Rennick.     I'm  delighted  to  hear  it.     {goes  t,.) 

Bullock.  Oh,  you  are  a  bounder !  Of  all  the  sneaking 
creepers  tliat  ever  I — 

Nancy,     {coming  doivn  c.)     What  do  you  mean  ? 

Bullock.  He's  going  to  tell  the  magistrate  that  I  sent 
him  after  tlie  apples. 

Nancy,     {to  Rennick)     Did  he  send  you  after  them  ? 

Rennick.     Certainly. 

Nancy,  {to  Bullock)  You  wretch  !  You  miserable, 
cowardly  wretch  !  You  were  afraid  to  go  yourself,  so  you 
sent  this  poor  little  boy  ! 

Bullock.     Wliat  are  new  boys  for  ? 

Nancy.  He  hasn't  said  a  word  about  it — he's  too  noble 
— but  J  will.  I'll  tell  Dr.  Candy  and  everybody  that  it  was 
all  your  doing.     There  ! 

Bullock.     You'd  better  not ! 

Nancy.     You  can't  frighten  me 

Bullock.    Yes,  I  can. 

Nancy.     No,  you  can't. 

Bullock,  {catching  Nancy  by  her  ivrist)  If  you  say  a 
word  I'll  split  on  you.  They  shall  all  hear  of  your  goings  on 
with  de  Brizac.  I  know  all  about  it.  I  saw  him  kissing 
your  photograph  I 

Nancy.     Oh  ! ! 

Rennick.  Don't  mind  him,  my  child,  don't  mind  him. 
It  will  be  a  long  time  before  anyone  kisses  his  photograph. 

Bullock,  {doubling  his  fists)  All  right,  youngster,  all 
right,     {exidting  to  Nancy)  Ah,  ha  !    I've  shut  you  up,  I 


54  THE  NEW  BOY. 

fancy.  J'll  teach  girls  to  interfere  with  me.  Have  your 
say,  Miss,  and  I'll  have  mine  ;  you  see  if  I  don't,  (goes  R.) 
As  for  you,  young  Bolder  ;  wait  till  bed-time  !  We  only 
began  with  you  last  night,  but,  by  Jingo,  we'll  ^ms/i  you 
to-night !  (exit  by  ivhidows,  R.  Rennick  sinks  down  on 
couch,  L.) 

Nancy.  And  to  think  that  I  was  actually  engaged  to 
that  bo3"  for  tliree  weeks  ! 

Rennick.  I  must  confess  he  does  not  strike  me  as  the 
kind  of  youth  to  inspire  affection. 

Nancy.     He  began  so  well. 

Rennick.    He  appears  to  have  fallen  off  lately. 

Nancy.     He  said  he  had  never  loved  anyone  before. 

Rennick.     He  forgot  himself.     (7'ises) 

Nancy.  If  I  were  to  tell  Theodore  I  believe  he  would 
kill  him. 

Rennick.  (qtiickly)  I  should  tell  him  at  once.  Noth- 
ing short  of  murder  will  effect  a  radical  alteration  in  that 
boy. 

Nancy,  Freddy,  dear,  you  must  tell  the  Magistrate 
everything. 

Rennick.     If  he  will  only  listen  to  me. 

Nancy.     He  viust  listen  to  you. 

Rennick.  Not  necessarily.  Magistrates  have  a  waj  of 
monopolising  tlie  conversation,     (turns  up  c.) 

Nancy.    Oh,  you  poor,  poor  boy  !    (goes  r.) 

(Enter  Roach  d.  l.  c.  ivith  a  newspaper  which  he  is  reading.) 

Roach,  (coming  doivn  l.  To  himself)  Just  my  luck  ! 
My  luck  all  over !  Shares  gone  up  again  yesterday  !  I 
thought  it  was  only  an  expiring  fizzle  ;  but  it  wasn't ;  it's 
bona  fide  !    Tchah  ! 

Nancy.  (going  to  Roach)  Have  you  seen  Doctor 
Candy  ? 

Roach,  (absently)  Yes,  a  little.  There's  something 
wrong — there's  something  devilish  wrong  in  the  world. 
Directly  I  get  out  of  a  sinking  ship  it's  sure  to  float ! 

Nancy.     What  is  it  ?     What  has  happened  ?  ! 

Roach.  The  D.  C.  C. — Dry  Champagne  Company,  (sits 
in  chair  down  L. ) 

Rennick.    (at  back,  aside)     Hullo  !    He's  seen  it ! 

Roach.  It's  taken  a  fresh  start — enormous  demand  in 
Central  Africa — natives  won't  drink  anything  else — rum 
isn't  in  it — special  popular  brand  at  two  and  eleven — people 
selling  their  ornaments — Chiefs  pawning  their  wives  and 
families — men,  women,  children,  and  missionanes  all 
swimming  in  dry  champagne  ! 

Rennick.     (aside)     I  say ! 

Nancy.    Well,  that's  good  for  you,  isn't  it  ? 


THE  NEW  BOY.  55 

Roach.  Good  !  I'm  out  of  it— out  of  it  !  I  left  the 
Board  a  month  ago  ami  suhl  every  share  ! 

Nancy.     Can't  you  buy  some  back  ? 

Roach.  Back?  (.starts  up.  putting  newspaper  on  L.  of 
writing  table.  Seizing  an  idea)  By  Jove !  That's  an 
idea.  Candy  bouglit  some.  H'm !  I  wonder  if  he  has 
seen  the  paper  ? 

Renxick.  (aside)  Whicli  means,  he  hopes  he  hasn't. 
(takes  scrap  of  ixtper  from  bureau  up  R.  and  feels  in  his 
pockets  for  a  pencil) 

Roach,  (aside  to  Nancy)  That  boy's  mother—Martha 
— holds  a  lot  of  them. 

Nancy.     Oh.  I'm  so  glad. 

Roach.     Eh?     Oli,  j-es — yes — of  course — so  am  I. 

Rennick.     (aside)     Ali  l"^  Here's  a  pencil,     (writes  note) 

Roach,  (aside)  Martha  won't  look  at  the  "  Money 
Market ; ''  women  never  do  ;  and  if  Candy  hasn't  seen  it, 
I'll  put — yes,  I  will — I'll  put  a  guinea  in  the  poor  box  ! 
(groesR.) 

{Enter  Mrs.  Rennick.  C.\ndy,  and  De  Brizac,  d.  l.  c.) 

Mrs.  R.     (looking  at  her  u-atch )     Just  half- past  ten. 

Candy.  Yes.  It  is  time  lie  left,  (^o  Rennick)  Freddy, 
you  will  go  to  the  court  now  and  Monsieur  de  Brizac  will 
accompany  you. 

Mrs.  R.     Felix  has  most  kindly  offered — 

Roach.  To  be  sure.  But — perhaps  it  would  be  wiser  to 
leave  it  to  our  friend  de  Brizac.  I  might  be  carried  away 
by  my  feelings  and  say  more  than  I  ought,  wliich  would 
prejudice  the  case.  Yes,  I  tliink— I  think  I  had  better  not 
go. 

Mrs.  R.     Oh — very  well,     (talks  aside  icith  Candy) 

Roach,  (aside)  I  haven't  a  minute  to  lose,  (turns  up 
stage) 

Rennick.  (aside  to  Nancy.  Giving  her  note)  Nancy 
^Nancy.     Give  this  to  Doctor  Candj',  will  you? 

Nancy.     All  right. 

De  B.     Come,  Bolder. 

Nancy,  (aside  to  Rennick)  Keep  up  your  spirits,  dear.' 
(Rennick  goes  to  d.  l.  c.) 

Roach.  Don't  be  friglitened,  my  boy.  Put  a  good  face 
on  it.  It's  nothing  when  you're  used  to  it.  I  speak  from 
experi — from  hearsay. 

Mrs.  R.  (go/Hg  fo"  Rennick)  Darling,  I'll  go  to  the  gar- 
den gate  with  you.     You  will  soon  be  back  again. 

Rennick.     (nervoxisly)    I  hope  so. 

Mrs.  R.     How  are  you  feeling? 

Rennick-    Rather  poorly. 

Mrs.  R.    Dearest  I    (almost  breaking  down) 


66  THE  NEW  BOY. 

Rennick.  (pulling  himself  together)  Come,  come,  this 
won't  do  ;  we  must  bear  up.  Tliis  is  not  the  first  time  in 
history  that  tlie  innocent  has  sutfered  for  tlie  guilty. 

Mrs.  R.  My  noble  love  !  {exeunt  Rennick  and  Mrs.  R. 
tvith  her  arm  around  his  neck,  follouvd  hij  De  B.  d.  l.  c. 
Nancy  goes  to  unndows  R.  and  stands  icatcJiing  for  them  to 
go  down  the  garden) 

Roach.     This  is  very  upsetting  for  poor  Martha. 

Candy.  It's  a  disgraceful  business.  I  am  very  much 
troubled  about  it. 

Roach.  I  am  sure  you  must  be.  I'm  exceedingly  sorry. 
You  have  had  quite  enough  to  worry  j^ou  lately  without 
this. 

Candy.  What?  (sits  at  writing-table  L.  and  writes 
letter) 

Roach.  And  all  through  me — that  is  what  distresses 
me — all  through  my  unhappily  misplaced  confidence  in  the 
stability  of  the  concern. 

Candy.     Ah  ! 

Roach.     I  am  referring  to  the  Dry  Champagne  Company. 

Candy.     Yes,  I  know. 

Nancy,  {turning  her  head)  Freddy  and  Monsieur  de 
Brizac  are  gone. 

Roach,  (going  to  Nancy)  Run  and  join  cousin  Martha 
in  the  garden.     She  will  like  to  have  you  with  her. 

Nancy.  Oh,  I  forgot,  {remembering  note)  This  is  for 
Dr.  Candy. 

Roach,  (taking  note  from  her)  All  right.  Run  away, 
my  child,  run  away.  (Candy  loho  is  busy  with  his  back 
towards  tlieiii  does  not  hear  the  allusion  to  the  note  ;  exit 
Nancy  by  windows  n.)  As  I  was  saying,  my  dear  Horace, 
I  am  greatly  troubled  by  tiiis  vuifortunate  business. 

Candy.     Ah,  to  be  sure  ;  you  were  a  heavy  loser. 

Roach.     I  vv'as  not  thinking  of  myself. 

Candy.  H'm.  (aside)  An  original  train  of  thought 
for  Jtim. 

Roach,  (aside)  The  paper!  He'll  see  the  paper  !  (o7o?^d 
going  to  Candy)  I  advised  you  for  the  best,  (puts  his 
right  hand  on  Candy's  shoulder.  Candy  looks  up  from  his 
writing  and  drops  his  pen  on  the  floor.  As  he  stoops  to 
pick  it  up  Roach  takes  the  neiospaper  fr^om  the  table,  puts 
it  quickly  behind  his  back,  and  backs  aumy  to  c.)  That  is 
some  consolation  as  far  as  it  goes  :  but  it  does  not  go  far 
enough.  I  can't  forget  it :  it  keeps  me  awake  at  night :  it 
has  been  preying  on  my  mind  for  the  last  month.  Every 
morning  I  picture  you  to  my.self  scanning  the  "Money 
Market." 

Candy.     I?     I  never  look  at  it.     {continues  irriting) 

Roach.  You  don't?  (turns  Ids  back  to  Caudy  and  folds 
newspaper) 


THE  NEW  BOY.  57 

Candy.  Wliat  would  be  the  good  ?  Tlie  money  is  gone, 
and  there's  an  end  of  it.  No  more  business  for  me.  I 
have  had  enough  of  it  to  last  my  life-time. 

Roach.     Ah  ! 

Candy.  I've  put  tlie  thing  at  the  back  of  my  head,  and 
have  no  desire  to  be  constantly  reminded  of  my  folly  by 
the  newspapers. 

Roach,  {puts  paper  i}i  his  jiocket,  leaving  one  end 
sticking  out)     You  are  so  philosophical.     I  envy  you. 

Candy.  Ah,  you're  a  speculator.  I'm  a  .schoolmaster. 
Every  man  to  his  trade.     I  ought  to  have  stuck  to  mine. 

Roach.     I  wish  you  liad;   I  sincerel}^  wish  you  had. 

Candy.     It's  no  use  crying  over  spilt  milk. 

Roach.  But  we  may  sometimes  save  a  few  drops.  My 
dear  Horace  ;  the  shares — as  we  know  to  our  cost — are 
practically  wortliless.  They  might — I  don't  say  they 
would — but  they  might  fetch  a  shilling  apiece.  A  ten 
pound  share  for  one  sliiiling  !  Only  to  tliink  of  it?  You 
hold — two  hundred  of  them,  I  think  ? 

Candy.     Yes. 

Roach.     Two  hundred  at  a  shilling — ten  pounds. 

Candy,  {rising)  And  I'm  afraid  I  shan't  even  get 
that. 

Roach.  Of  course  I'm  talking  of  selling  in  the  open 
market.  It's  just  barely  possible  that  I  miglit  be  able  to 
dispose  of  them  privately  for  a  trifle  more  ;  say — one  and 
three  pence  or — something  of  that  kind. 

Candy.  It  is  hardly  worth  the  trouble,  {fastens  up  liis 
letter  in  envelope) 

Roach.  It's  not  the  trouble — that's  nothing.  "What  I 
so  particularly  desire  is  that  I  may  be  the  means  of  recov- 
ering .something — an  infinitesimal  sum  I  fear — but  still 
something  of  what  you  have  lost  through  taking  my  advice. 

Candy,  {aside)  It  sounds  friendly.  I  wonder  if  I 
have  wronged  him  ? 

Roach.  Now,  Til  tell  you  what  Til  do,  Horace.  As  you 
said  just  now,  you  are  not  a  sjieculator  ;  but  I  am.  It's  a 
risk — I  know  that — but  it  will  be  a  pleasure  to  incur  it. 
Yovu-  two  hundred  shares  are  only  worth  about  ten  pounds. 
Well.  I'll  give  you  fifty  for  them. 

Candy.  I  stand  to  lose  two  thousand.  Humph.  Fifty 
pounds  in  the  hand — 

Roach.  Are  worth  two  thousand  in  the  bush — other- 
wise, the  comjjany.  Come;  I'll  give  you  fifty  and  take 
my  chance. 

Candy.     I'm  afraid  you  will  find  it  a  poor  one. 

Roach.  Nevermind  that,  {tajojnng  Caddy's  chest  ivith 
Rennick's  note)  That's  my  look  out.  {remembering  note) 
Oh,  I  forgot  this,     {holding  out  note)     It's  for  you. 

Candy,     {taking  note)    What  is  it  ? 


58  THE  NEW  BOY. 

Roach.  I  don't  know.  Nancy  gave  it  me.  Someone 
left  it,  I  suppose. 

Candy,  {opening  letter)  Well,  Felix  ;  I  must  say  this 
offer  of  yours  seems  to  me  to  be  a  very — (looking  at  note) 
Excuse  me  a  moment. 

Roach.  Certainly,  my  dear  Horace,  {going  R.  aside) 
I've  got  him  !     By  George,  I've  got  him  ! 

Candy,  {aside,  reading  note)  "  Don't  on  any  account, 
sell  shares  in  Dry  Champagne  Company  to  Roach.  They 
are  going  up  like  smoke.  Read  to-day's  paper.  A.  Ren- 
nick."  Rennick  !  Who's  Rennick?  Where  have  I  heard 
that  name?  {reading)  "Don't  on  any  account  sell — " 
Humph ! 

Roach.     Nothing — wrong,  Horace  ? 

Candy.     Nothing  at  ail.     Quite  the  contrary. 

Roach.     I  was  afraid  it  was  something  unpleasant. 

Candy.     No  ;  it's  most  satisfactory. 

Roach.  I'm  very  glad.  Well :  shall  we  conclude  the 
business?  If  you  will  just  give  me  a  line  in  writing  saying 
you  agree  to  sell  me  the  shares  it  will  be  all  that  is  neces- 
sary pending  the  transfer. 

Candy.  On  second  thoughts,  Felix,  I  hardly  like  to  take 
your  money. 

Roach.     Now,  my  dear  Horace  ! 

Candy.  It  is,  of  course,  very  kind  and  disinterested  of 
you,  but {goes  up  stage) 

Roach.  It's  nothing  of  the  sort.  It  is  simply  a  matter 
of  conscience.     I  will  take  no  denial. 

Candy.     I  don't  like  j'our  losing  by  it. 

Roach,  {follonnng  him)  Oh,  but  I  shan't.  I  mean,  I 
mayn't.     I  wish  you  wouldn't  consider  me. 

Candy.     You  are  very  unselfish. 

Roach.     Nonsense.     What  are  fifty  pounds  ? 

Candy.     Not  much — under  the  circvimstances. 

Roach.  Very  well  then.  Consider  it  a  mere  commercial 
transaction.  Don't  look  upon  me  as  a  friend,  but  simply 
as  a  man  of  business. 

Candy.  My  dear  Felix,  I  can  assure  you  I  should  never, 
for  one  moment,  have  the  slightest  doubt  of  your  capacity 
— as  a  man  of  business,     {exit  d.  l.  c.) 

Roach.  Confound  it !  {comes  down  c.)  These  absurd 
scruples  of  his  are  most  annoying!  Why  can't  he  leave 
me  to  take  care  of  myself  ?  Those  infernal  three  F.'s,  feel- 
ing, fairness,  and  friendship,  are  the  enemies  of  all  busi- 
ness. {e7iter  Mrs.  R.  by  inndoio  R.)  Ah,  Martha  !  Freddy 
not  back  yet  ? 

Mrs.  R.    Not  yet. 

Roach.     He  will  not  be  long. 

Mrs.  R.  I  trust  not.  (grot's  to  table  doion  r.,  sits,  and 
takes  up  her  needlework) 


THE  NEW  BOY.  50 

Roach.  Poor  little  chap.  He  is  a  brave  little  fellow  ; 
and  so  intelligent,  so  remarkably  intelligent.  He  hap- 
pened to  mention — and  I  was  deeply  grieved  to  hear  it — 
that  you  had  sustained  a  ratlier  heavj-  loss  in  connection 
witli  some  company.  The — er — er  Dry  Champagne  Com- 
pany I  think  he  said. 

Mrs.  R.  That  is  so.  It  has  been  a  terrible  business  for 
us. 

Roach.     Dear,  dear  ! 

Mrs.  R.  My — Freddy  tells  me  you  were  one  of  the 
directors. 

Roach,  (taken  back)  Oh — yes — I  was.  (aside)  How 
did  that  boj"  know  ?  (aloud)  I  did  my  best  to  save  the 
company,  but  they  wouldn't  take  my  advice,  so  I  retired. 
(musing)     Dear  me.     Yuu  lost  heavily  ! 

Mrs.  R.     We  did  indeed. 

Roach.  So  did  I.  (pause)  Martha,  we  are  not  only 
cousins,  but — there  is  a  stronger — well,  you  know  what  my 
feelings  are.  Now  Til  tell  you  what  TU  do.  These  unfor- 
tunate shares  of  yours  are  almost  valueless. 

Mrs.  R.     Oh  no  ;  they  are  going  up. 

Roach.     I  beg  your  pardon  ? 

Mrs.  R.     They  are  rising  steadily. 

Roach.     Who  savs  so  ? 

Mrs.  R.     Freddy" 

Roach,     (aside)     Confound  that  boy  ! ! 

Mrs.  R.  He  saw  it  in  the  paper.  Tlie  future  prospects 
of  the  company  are  most  encoui'aging. 

Roach.  No  !  you  don't  say  .so  !  Dear,  dear  !  Well,  all 
lean  say  is.  my  dear  Martha.  I'm  delighted  to  hear  it. 
(shakes  Jiands  with  hrr.  Enter  Candy  d.  l.  c.  )  I  congratu- 
late j'ou  most  heartily.    This  is  good  news  indeed  ! 

Candy.     What  is  that  ?    Have  they  let  Freddy  off  ? 

Mrs.  R.     He  has  not  yet  returned. 

Candy.  Then  what  is  this  good  news  ?  (comes  down 
L.  c.) 

Mrs.  R.  I  was  telling  Felix  how  the  shares  of  the  Dry 
Champagne  Company  are  rising  rapidl}'. 

Roach.  Yes,  what  do  you  think  of  that,  Horace  ?  That's 
a  good  hearing,  is  it  not?  ! 

Candy.     It  is  indeed.     You  hadn't  seen  the  paper  ? 

Roach.  My  dear  Horace  I  You  forget  the  offer  I  made 
you  just  now. 

Candy.     No.  I  do  not. 

Roach.  I  should  have  robbed  you.  Martha.  I  should 
positively  have  robbed  Horace.  Don't  part  with  a  share, 
my  good  sir,  not  a  single  share. 

Candy.     I  don't  intend  to. 

Roach.     Good. 

Candy,    {going  to  writing-table  and  looking  about  him) 


60  THE  NEW  BOY. 

I  can't  think  what  has  become  of  to-day's  paper.  You  have 
not  seen  it,  Martlia  ? 

Mrs.  R.     No.     (rises  and  goes  up  stage,  looking  about  her) 

Roach.     Perhaps  it  hasn't  come. 

Candy.  Yes,  it  lias,  (seeing  corner  of  paper  sticking 
out  of  Roach's  tail  pocket)  Why,  you've  got  one  in  your 
pocket,  Felix. 

Roach,  (feeling  his  pocket  behind)  Have  I  ?  Oh — ah 
— it's  yesterday's. 

Candy.    That  will  do. 

Roach.     There's  nothing  in  it. 

Candy.  Let  me  see  it,  will  you?  (Mrs.  Rennick  sits 
on  ottoman,  r.  c.) 

Roach,  (taking  out  paper)  Certainly,  but — there's  no 
news.  There  never  is  nowadays.  (affecting  surprise) 
What !     Why,  bless  my  soul,  it's  to-day's  !    How  very  odd. 

Candy.     Curious. 

Roach.     Isn't  it  ?     Ha,  ha  ! 

Candy,  (holding  out  his  hand  for  paper)  Will  you 
allow  me  ? 

Roach.    You  wish  to 

Candy.     If  you  please. 

Roach.  Oh,  certainly,  (gives  paper  to  Candy  and  looks 
terribly  disgusted  :  to  Mrs.  R.)  That's  Freddy,  you  know. 
That's  one  of  his  tricks.  I've  been  hunting  for  the  paper 
the  whole  morning,  and  I  had  it  in  my  pocket  all  the  time. 
Ha,  ha  ! 

Candy,  (ironically)  Ha,  ha  !  (looking  over  paper) 
And  do  you  hold  shares  in  this  company,  Martha  ? 

Mrs.  R.     a  large  number,  I'm  sorry  to  say. 

Roach.  Sorry?  No,  no.  You're  in  luck  after  all,  so 
the  paper  says. 

Candy.     I  thought  you  hadn't  seen  it. 

Roach.     Martha  told  me,  Martha  told  me. 

Candy,  (sits  on  chair  l.  ;  looking  over  paper)  Dear 
me  !     It  is  so.     They  prophesy  a  rapid  recovery. 

Mrs.  R.     It  sounds  too  good  to  be  true  ! 

Roach,     (vehemently)     I  have  it !  ! 

Candy,     (starting)     Good  gracious,  Felix ! 

Roach.  Horace  !  Martha  !  We  will  make  our  fort- 
unes ! 

Mrs.  R.    How  ? 

Candy.     Eli !    (puts  neivspaper  on  writing-table) 

Roach.  We  will  all  buy  at  once.  Listen,  One  of  the 
largest  shareholders  is  a  man  named  Rennick. 

Mrs.  R.     (rising,  aside)    Oh  ! 

Candy,  (aside)  Rennick  !  Extraordinary  I  The  writer 
of  the  note  ! 

Roach.  I  happen  to  remember  his  name,  because  he 
was  constantly  writing  to  the  Board.     He  knows  nothing 


THE  NEW  BOY.  61 

of  business.  In  fact,  from  his  letters,  I  should  set  him 
down  as  more  than  half  an  idiot. 

Mrs.  R.     (aside)     My  Arcliibald  ! 

Roach.  B\'  the  way.  Martha  ;  he  lives  in  your  part  of 
the  country,  near  Manchester. 

Mrs.  R.     Oh— yes. 

Roach.     He  is  not  a  friend  of  yours  ? 

Mrs.  R.  Yes — a  friend,  (goes  to  ivindows  R. ,  looking  for 
Rexnick) 

Roach.     Indeed  ?    Humph. 

Candy,  (rising  ;  aside)  Now,  I  remember  !  The  man 
who  wanted  to  marry  her. 

Roach,     (aside)     This  is  a  little  awkward. 

Candy,  (aside)  From  tliat  note,  he  must  be  in  the 
neighborhood  !     He  has  followed  Martha ! 

Roach.  AVell — of  course,  in  business  it  is  everyone  for 
himself.     That  is  one  of  the  first  principles. 

Candy,     (aside)     Whicli  he  has  thoroughly  mastered. 

Roach.  Consequently,  I  propose  that  we  make  this  Mr. 
Rennick  an  offer  to  buy  the  whole  of  his  shares  at — say  five 
shillings  a  piece.  He  will  probably  jump  at  it — he  is  such 
an  ass — and  we  shall  eventually  realise  a  large  profit. 
What  do  you  say,  Horace  ? 

Candy.  Well — (going  to  Roach)  would  this  be  con- 
sidered an  honest  transaction  ? 

Roach.     Honest  ?  ! 

Candy.     Doesn't  it  strike  you  as  scarcely  honorable  ? 

Roach.     Honorable  ?  !     It's  business. 

Candy.     Is  it  ? 

Roach.  To  be  sure.  You  take  your  chance  ;  Rennick 
takes  his.     It  is  merelj'  a  game. 

Candy.  I  see.  A  game  of  "  beggar-my -neighbor." 
(aside)     What  a  plausible  scamp!  , 

Roach.  Well,  now  ;  we  haven't  a  moment  to  lose.  I 
believe  the  best  plan  would  be  for  me  to  go  and  see  him. 
Yes,  I  had  better  run  down  to  Manchester,     (goes  R.) 

Candy.     Mr.  Rennick  is  not  in  Manchester. 

Mrs.  R.     (aside,  surprised)     What  does  he  mean  ? 

Roach.     How  do  you  know  ? 

Candy.     I  have  just  heard  from  him. 

Mrs.  R.  {nervously,  going  toward  c,  at  hack)  You 
have — heard  from  him  ? 

Candy.     Yes. 

Roach.     What  was  it  ? 

Candy.     A  very  interesting  communication,  Felix. 

Mrs.  R.     (aside)     Archibald  has  told  him  !  ! 

Roach.     But  what  brings  him  here  ? 

Candy.     I  think  Martha  can  inform  you. 

Mrs.  R.  (conies  down  to  Candy)  Horace  !  Oh,  Horace 
— I  see  you  know  everything ! 


•**» 


62  THE  NEW  BOY. 

Candy.     Well,  he  certainly  opened  my  eyes. 

Mrs.  R.  (afraid  to  look  at  Candy)  You — you  must 
have  been — astounded  !  ! 

Candy.     Not  altogether. 

Roach,  (aside)  This  fellow,  Rennick,  has  come  after 
Martha  ! 

Candy,     (looking  at  Roach)    I  had  had  my  suspicions. 

Mrs.  R.  (greatly  agitated)  Horace — we — we  were  very 
wrong  ;  but  it  was  my  fault — mine  entirely.  You  will  not 
blame  Arcliibald  ? 

Candy.     So  it  is  "  Archibald  "  now. 

Mrs.  R.  Yes.  He  was  guided  by  me.  I  was  foolishly 
afraid  to  tell  you.  You  appeared  so  averse  to  it,  and  so  we 
agreed  to  conceal  it.  If  you  cannot  forgive  me,  at  least 
let  me  beg  you  not  to  be  harsh  with  him. 

Candy.  My  dear  Martha !  I  owe  Mr.  Rennick  a  debt 
of  gratitude.  I  can't  quite  understand  why  it  is,  or  how 
it  is,  or  where  he  is  ;  but  he  has  done  me  a  good  turn  which 
I  shall  never  forget. 

Mrs.  R.     How  kind — how  very  kind  you  are  ! 

Candy,  (aside)  Poor  Martha  !  I  shall  die  a  bachelor. 
(covies  dou'n  L. ) 

Roach,  (goes  to  Mrs.  R.)  Martha  (holding  out  his 
hand),  my  warmest  congratulations.  Give  my  compli- 
ments to  Mr.  Rennick  and  tell  him  to  hold  the  shares. 

Mrs.  R.     (coldly)    Thank  you.     I  will. 

Roach,     (aside)    Damn!     (turns  nj)  u.) 

(Enter  Nancy  quickly  by  windows  r.) 

Nancy.  Tliey're  here — they're  coming  back.  I  saw 
Monsieur  de  Brizac  at  the  gate,     (runs  off  by  windows) 

Mrs.  R.     Thank. goodness  ! 

Candy.  I'm  very  glad.  You  must  forgive  me,  Martha. 
I  was  annoyed,  naturally  annoyed,  and  I  fear  you  must 
have  thought  me  very  unfeeling, 

(Enter  Nancy  by  windoim  quickly.) 

Nancy,  (at  windoivs,  looking  off)  No !  Freddy's  not 
there  !     Monsieur  de  Brizac  is  alone  I 

Mrs.  R.     (alarmed)    Alone  ! 

Candy.    How  is  that  ? 

Mrs.  R.     Oh,  Horace  ! 

Candy,     (calming  her)     Now,  my  dear  Martha. 

Roach.     Perhaps  the  case  hasn't  come  on  yet. 

Mrs.  R.     Then  we  must  go  and  stop  it ! 

Candy.    Stop  it  ?  ! 

Nancy.    Here  he  is.   (De  Brizac  appears  at  tvindoivs) 
Well?  well? 


THE  NEW  BOY.  63 

(Enter  De  Brizac  by  windows  R.) 

Candy.     Is  it  a  fine  ? 

De  B.     No. 

Mrs.  R.     Not  imprisonment  ?  ! 

De  B.     No. 

Roach.     Thej^Ve  dismissed  the  case  ? 

De  B.     No.     I  am  sorry  to  say 

Mrs.  R.     Yes?     Well! 

De  B.  The  magistrate  has  ordered  him  to  receive  twelve 
strokes  with  a  birch  rod  ! 

Mrs.  R.  What?  !!!  {screams  and  hursts  into  an  hy- 
sterical fit  of  sobbing.) 

Candy.     My  dear  Martha  ! 

Nancy.     Cousin  Martha ! 

Mrs.  R.  (wildly)  Archibald!  Oh,  Archibald  !  It  mustn't 
be — Don't  stand  there  !  Do  something — stop  them — 
Horace — Felix — quick — quick — save  him — Oh,  good  heav- 
ens— save  him  !  !  ! 

Candy.     Martha.  Martha  ;  if  the  boy 

Mrs.  R.     What  boy? 

Candy.     Freddy. 

Mrs.  R.  He's  not  a  boy — you  know  he's  not — he's  Archi- 
bald, Freddy's  Archibald  !  ! 

Roach.     Freddy's  Archibald  ! ! 

Candy.     Freddy's  Archibald  ? ! !  ! 

Mrs.  R.  Why  do  you  wait?  Every  moment  is  pre- 
cious ! !     Go — go  !  ! ! 

Candy.  Where's  my  hat  ?  Nevermind!  (runstowin- 
doios,  R.)     Good  heavens  !  ! 

Roach,     (running  to  windows  R.)    Well,  I'm  hanged !  ! 

Candy.     Freddy's  Archibald  ! ! ! !     (runa  off  R.) 

Roach.     Freddy's  Archibald  ! ! ! !     (runs  off  R.) 

De  B.  (excitedly  to  Nancy)  Freddy's  Archibald  !  !  ! 
(runs  off  R. ) 

Mrs.  R.  (goes  r.  quickly)  Oh  dear !  Oh  gracious ! 
What  have  I  done  ?  !  They  may  be  too  late  !  Even  now, 
Archibald  may  be — oh — oh  !  ! 

Nancy,  (coming  doivm,.  ofMn^.'R.)  Cousin  Martha  ! 
Dear  Cousin  Martha  ;  what  is  it  ?  I  don't  understand. 
Who  is  Archibald  ? 

Mrs.  R.  (gasjiing  for  breath)  Freddy  is  Archibald, 
I  mean  Archibald  is  Freddy  ! 

Nancy.     But  who  is  Archibald  ?  ! 

Mrs.  R.  (crossing  L.  and  going  up  stage  a  little)  My 
husband. 

Nancy,  (following  her)  But  how  can  your  husband  be 
Freddy  ? 

Mrs.  R.     He  is. 

Nancy.    Freddy— is  your  husband  ? 


64  THE  NEW  BOY. 

Mrs.  R.    Yes. 

Nancy.     That  little  boy  ?  ! 

Mrs.  R.     Tliat  was  my  mistake. 

Nancy.     But  why  did  you  marry  a  boy?  ! 

Mrs.  R.     He's  not  a  boJ^     He's  a  man.     Mr.  Rennick. 

Nancy.     A  man  ?  !  !  !' 

Mrs.  R.  (coming  doivn  L.)  And  if  anything  should 
happen — (sinks  into  chair  L.)  that  is  where  the  sting 
would  be  !  ! 

Nancy,  (going  r.  aside)  Mr.  Rennick.  Well,  I  always 
thought  he  was  in  advance  of  his  looks  ! 

(Enter  Rennick  d.  l.  c.) 

Rennick.    Martha. 

Mrs.  R.  Archibald  !  (jumjping  np  and  going  to  him) 
My  own — my  precious  !  Thank  heaven,  you  have  come. 
Oh,  my  dearest ! 

Rennick.     Martha.     It's  all  over. 

Mrs.  R.  Over?  !  (throicing  her  arms  round  him)  Oh, 
my  love,  my  martyr,  my  poor  suffering  lamb  !  How  could 
they — oil,  how  could  they  ?  !  ! 

Rennick.     Oh,  you  heard  the  sentence  ? 

Mrs.  R.     Yes.     Didn't  you  see  thetn? 

Rennick.    Who? 

Mrs.  R.  The>  'ere  too  late  !  I  knew  they  would  be  ! 
Oh,  Archibald  :.it  was  carried  out  ;  you  have  received — 

Rennick.     V  .,  I  haven't. 

Mrs.  R.     What  !    Do  you  mean  they  didn't — ? 

Rennick.    ISio     Tliey  didn't. 

Mrs.  R.  (with  intense  relief)  Oh  !  I  have  been  under- 
going torture,  thinking  that  you  were  ! 

Rennick.  I'm  veiy  sorry,  Martha.  I've  been  tolerably 
patient.  I've  put  up  with  a  good  deal  one  way  and  an- 
other, but  I  had  to  draw  the  line  somewhere. 

Mrs.  R.     Yes,  dear,  yes? 

Rennick.  There  was  no  time  to  be  lost  ;  the  sentence 
was  to  be  carried  into  execution  at  once  ;  so  I  iiad  no 
alternative  but  to  tell  the  magistrate  wlio  I  was  and  to  give 
him  the  whole  story.  He  accepted  my  personal  bail  and 
remanded  me  for  inquiries. 

Mrs.  R.     Darling,  liow  thankful  we  ought  to  be  ! 

Rennick.  It  is  a  relief,  I  admit.  But  it's  all  out  now, 
Martha.     We  can't  keep  it  from  Candy. 

Mrs.  R.     He  knows,  dear  ;  they  all  know. 

Rennick.     Do  they  ?    Does  Nancy  know  ? 

Nancy,  (shyly)  Yes,  Mr.  Rennick.  (aside)  I've  been 
flirting  with  a  married  man  !  I'm  getting  plenty  of  ex- 
perience ! 


THE  NEW  BOY.  65 

(Enter  Candy,  Roach,  and  De  Brizac  by  vnndows  R. 
They  are  all  out  of  breath.) 

Candy.  Ah  !  He's  here  1  {going  to  Rennick  with  out- 
stretched hand)  My  dear  Mr.  Rennick — I  am  delighted. 
We  have  heard  of  your  being  remanded.  You  will  be  dis- 
charged, of  course  ;  but  what  an  ordeal — what  an  ordeal ! 

Rennick.     Thank  you.     It  has  been  a  little  trying. 

Mrs.  R.     My  poor  dear  husband. 

Candy.     Husband ! 

Roach.     Husband !  ! 

De  B.     Husband  !  !  ! 

Candy,  {aside)  Married  already  !  Hah !  I  begin  to 
understand  ! 

Roach,  {to  Mrs.  Rennick)  Your  husband  ?  !  I  That 
thing?  !  ! 

Rennick.  Yes,  Felix  ;  things  are  not  what  they  seem  ; 
not  even  Dry  Champagne  shares. 

Candy.  My  dear  Mr.  Rennick  ;  what  can  I  say — what 
can  I  do? 

Rennick.  You  can  oblige  me  by  using  your  influence 
with  our  friend  Felix  on  behalf  oi-r{  pointing  to  De 
Brizac  and  Nancy)  those  young  people,  {sits  on  couch 
L.  li'ith  Mrs.  Rennick) 

Roach.     Eh  ?     What  ?     What's  this  ?  ! 

De  B.     Monsieur  Roach.    It  is  true     We  love  each  other. 

Nancy.     Yes,  father,  dear. 

Roach.     Absurd,  ridiculous — I  won'   .^^ar  of  it  I 

De  B.     Monsieur  Roach,     I  can  never  give  her  down  I 

Nancy.    Up. 

DeB.    Up! 

Roach.     Go  away,  sir. 

Candy.  Felix.  Perhaps  this  may  help  you  to  arrive  at 
a  more  favorable  decision,  {giveshim  the  note  he  had  from 
Rennick)  Nancy,  my  child  ;  I  have  always  promised  my- 
self the  pleasure  of  providing  you  with  a  little  dowry 
when  the  time  came,  and  it  seems  that  time  has  come. 

Nancy.     How  very  good  you  are. 

Roach,     {aside)     Dowry  !     He  said  dowry  ! 

Candy.  Felix.  If  you  think  it  well  for  us  to  say  noth- 
ing more  about  that  note,  pray  destroy  it  and  I  shall  take 
that  for  your  answer.  (Roach  tears  up  the  note)  Good. 
{to  Nancy)  My  warmest  congratulations.  De  Brizac  is  a 
capital  fellow.  And  now  for  Master  Bullock.  Nancy, 
will  you  kindly  ring  the  bell  ?     {comes  down  L. ) 

Rennick.     ( jumping  up)    Allow  me.     {rings  bell) 

Roach,  {making  the  best  of  it)  My  dear  child  ;  joxi 
have  chosen  well.  De  Brizac,  one  stipulation.  You  must 
not  take  her  away.  You  will  be  comfortably  off,  and — I 
couldn't  live  without  her. 

5 


66 


THE  NEW  BOY. 


{Enter  Susan.) 

Susan.     Did  you  ring,  sir  ? 

Candy.  Susan,  send  Master  Bullock  to  my  study  and 
tell  him  to  wait  there  till  I  come. 

Susan.     Yes.  sir.     {exit) 

Rennick.  Allow  me.  (takes  cave  from  sideboard  and 
gives  it  to  Candy)     I  leave  Master  Bullock  in  your  hands. 

Candy.     Mr.  Rennick,  I  have  to  ask  your  pardon. 

Rennick.  Don't  mention  it,  my  dear  sir  ;  pray  don't 
mention  it.  Our  relations  have  unfortunately  been  some- 
wliat  strained,  and  I  have  certainly  suffered  a  little  tem- 
porary inconvenience  ;  but  we  must  always  remember  that 
any  rigorous  measures  you  were  called  upon  to  exercise 
were  not  intended  to  apply  to  me  but — to  the  new  boy. 

Curtain. 


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